... Love Poems | 3 There. Absent.

I know you are there,
and also someone else in your heart

I know you are there but you are not
and I had to stop my heart from believing
that I could earn a place in that heart of yours.

I know I am nowhere
lost in the midst of a black hole of rocks and uncertainty
feeling unworthy of your love
insufficient for your kisses,
mediocre for your smile…
unworthy for your absorbing eyes…
and I wish I knew how to perfect my soul to be.

And I see you there, but not there.

Absent, abstracted, taken, robbed.
Stolen from my life by your own choice.
Distracted to someone else´s pictures or poses.
Grasped by another torturer who will not value
the same I would adore.

The feeling of a hammer breaking every beat
when I hear each hammer-blow like the strongest thunder
shinning the sparks of the hammer and the rocks in my tears.

And I say goodnight dear
showing a smile and a hug
crying every drop towards my fear
and letting life carry lonely on.