An Odd Day at the Comic Shop...

It’s been a strange Sunday at my shop Conquest Comics. I’m midway through my day so far and I have had some odd interactions...and there is still 3 hours before closing. More than enough time for some more odd ducks to waddle in.

First off, Mother Nature graced us with a slight snow dusting. Usually when that happens and there is any form of inclement weather, folks stay home. Not today. Today’s snow has been an open invite for some of the dregs of society to wander in.

I have had not one, or even two...but three separate humans walk in and completely ignore my greeting. I always greet folks as they walk into the shop. Usually it’s something along the lines of “Hey, how ya doing? If ya have any question just let me know!”. Most people reply to some degree with a “thanks”, a “ just looking”, or even a “how are you?”. Not these 3 robots. All of them looked directly at me as I was speaking and didn’t react a bit. Not even a nod. It’s a super irritating thing to happen as I just find it so unbelievably rude, but I just brush it off. Not a big deal. Just a pet peeve of mine that happened to pretty much happen back to back to back.

I also had 2 people knock over displays of Funko Pops. One was a genuine mistake. A gentleman’s bulky jacket bumped into a tower that leans against a bookshelf. We are a super crowded store so this is not a new thing. It happens and we understand. The other guy decided it was a good idea to attempt to pluck a Pop from the bottom of a stack. He also apparently thought karate chopping it would be the best way to get it out. Bad decisions all around as about 150 Pops came tumbling down. Even his friends made fun of him for doing what he did. Best part, he ended up buying nothing along with his friends. Yay!

I had a guy ask for toys based on the 80’s cult classic film, The Lost Boys. He did not want the Pops I had...he wanted action figures. When I told him that we didn’t have any, he became visibly irritated, scoffed like a petulant child that was told to take out the trash, and literally stomped out of the store. Stomped...picture how ridiculous it looks for a 30 something year old dickbag to stomp...

Currently I have 2 elderly gentlemen wandering around. They seem nice and we chatted a bit as they have been here for over 3 hours so far, but they seem to just be 2 dudes wasting time. The few things they have asked for I have had and showed them. They look and go “cool!”...and then wander some more.

I have had 2 people bring me small comic collections they were trying to sell. Both were pretty awful and I passed on both but one basically made me throw an offer out. He had around 200 books. If you are one of the few comic folks that will read this, you’ll know the drek I’m talking about. If was all 90’s nonsense. Multiple copies of Shadowhawk, Youngblood, Pitt, Adventures of Superman #500, Ren & Stimpy. Literal trash. Things that I have a gazillion of each that never sell outside of bargain bins once in a while.

After telling him that I have it all already multiple times over and he’d be better off trying to move em to an individual collector vs a store, he hounded me for an offer. He said he’d take anything and just wanted to get rid of them. I truly didn’t want them and didn’t want to insult him as what I could offer was so minimal. He insisted I throw out an offer. I told him that in order for me to take the box, I could offer him $10. Cue the attitude...

He got all huffy and told me that it’s worth more than $10 bucks. He told me he couldn’t believe I offered him something so low...even after I told him 3 times that I didn’t want it and even after explaining any offer I threw out would literally be the gas money he spent getting here. I didn’t even care at that point. As he verbally berated me for offering something so low for his box of monkey shit, I just uh-huh’d him and said thanks. Was not about to argue with this unreasonable moron. Good day sir.

Up to bat next is the screaming kid and completely irresponsible parents. This kid is a kid...so I’m not irritated at him. As a parent, if I see my kid throwing a fit in public, I try my best to remedy the situation as to not impact others experience. Not these folks. They just let the kid flail around precious and easily breakable merchandise while screaming and throwing a tantrum...all while mom and dad browse as if they are deaf....and retarded.

Next to enter is the guy who asks where our video games are...to which I kindly reply that we don’t carry those here. Then he goes onto say that we used to, and that he bought some from us in the past. Another case of some head nodding and the ol uh-huh’s directed at him. I mean...what the hell do I know?!? I just own the joint.

Sprinkled in between these gems are a few normal and good transactions. I saw a buddy named Joey that has been with us for around 10 years now. Almost since the beginning. Good to see him as I hadn’t seen him in months. A few other nice and/or normal rando’s made appearances in between the weirdo’s as to help me keep my sanity today.

The 2 older gentlemen finally left after almost 4 hours of being here. One of them bought a BPRD comic for $3.99. I’m rich!!!

Also I’ve had to use our Glade Vanilla odor eliminator spray twice now and it’s not doing a great job of getting rid of the pure cloud of cigarette stink. A nice guy came in earlier. I’ve seen him a decent about over the past few months and he’s always a super nice dude..but holy shit is this guy going to die of lung cancer any second. He must chain smoke in his sleep. Every time he pops in I have to spray the shop down as we end up stinking like an ashtray. C’mon Vanilla Glade!!!

I now have 45 minutes before leaving and I’m looking forward to getting out and grabbing some grub. I guess that’s all the weirdos for today. It’s better than the guy a few years back who told me he was going to jerk off to the sexy Emma Frost statue. It’s better than the guy who started a racist tirade directed at the news that was on at the time. Or the drunk belligerent guy that I nearly came to blows with when he started screaming at me and making no sense. It’s also better than the people that come in here and just fart loudly. Or the people who ask to use our bathroom and leave the porcelain throne full of their hot mud just for me to see later. I guess today wasn’t all that weird now that I think about it. Just another day at Conquest...

Blewitt