Sound Check [Day 84 of the 5 Minutes Freewrite]
Original by @f3nix - That's how I feel sometimes
Social Dysmorphia
Sound check, sound check
steel rods blossom through my face
Sound check
burial jar of cold delusions
Sound check, sound check
the white noise you will devour
Sound check
my dysmorphia your protrusions.
Sound check, sound check
tears and laughs ten cents a pound
Soul check
you keep nodding but I'm dead.
:) nods
At least they clap and don't throw rotten tomatoes at your corpse
Lol!
Another wonderful day at work huh? (I'm checking out your tags...) It must be so disheartening to have the career you worked hard for (and at) leave you feeling dead. (And yet still able to hear the noise of the blatherers...which friggin' circle of hell is that?)😭
Here's something fun for you! I like to give ugly bullshit gifts to people that either piss me off (but I have to be cordial to) or are just blathering zombies looking to feed on my remains. Here we have dollar stores with some of the most pointless and ugly crap ever produced. I find something that fits my opinion of them and give it to the person as a gift. I am always greatly amused as they try to find a polite way to say thank you (all the while they think my taste is in my ass 😂). Also, I have the joy of knowing that I've clearly expressed my opinion of them (or their actions)! And there is NOTHING that they can do!!!
The addition of the monkey mask was an inspired touch, by the way.
Today I am Marianne's specially programmed robotic delivery squirrel. I'm scampering through the freewriters, bringing our lady's next creative prompt.
https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-85-5-minute-freewrite-friday-prompt-corn
Ciao @brisby ! First of all thank you for a meaningful comment, they're always the best reward. I think that I mislead you with the tag.. as a matter of fact I added a title after your comment. My poetry is about alienation in this fluid contemporary society made of short and empty "likes" or "upvotes" or general comments. The scene is that of an influencer putting on his mask once again for his followers. The final verse in particular, vas "voting" but then I changed it in "nodding". The first verse comes out from a painting of H.R. Giger, a painter and visionary whose work I like very much. This wanted to be a sound/soul check and what the protagonist finds inside his soul is nothing but a mute cry of desperation for what he/his public has become. I thought a lot about the meaning and you may think it's just a bunch of words but there's an explanation behind each one, I just like to keep it minimal. The structure is an alternation between sevenfold/octosyllable, last verse apart. Next time better I'll write about kittens me thinks.. :-P (my conclusion is not coming from your comment!!). That thing of the gift as a weapon of revenge is simply sublime!
Thank you for your reply. I re-read your poem a few times. Knowing me, I think that I still would have misread your piece even without having seen the tag. Sorry. I can understand now the meaning in what you wrote (after having known you for a while now I really should have caught on the first time around).
I have this simplistic brain that goes off in a different direction than where it should. I don't think anything that people write is a bunch of words, well except for when they write a bunch of words. (I've seen some posts that just have random word. Who knows, maybe those had meanings that I was too simple to understand as well?). Your writing is thoughtful, often deeper than I can appreciate, and honest eith what you want to say. While it didn't take me where you wanted it to, the problem is with my perspective, not your words. Sorry @f3nix, you deserve a better audience for your writing than me. Also, if you feel like writing about kittens please do ( but only because you feel so inspired).
I have had the pleasure of enjoying H. R. Giger's art since I discovered his work while in high school. I haven't seen the final documentary regarding him, Dark Star, but I should. I may originally found his art through the movie Aliens but there is much more to be enjoyed. His pieces elicit strong reactions and are practically hypnotizing.
Don't underestimate yourself @brisby .. Your comments are always precious and never banal and I don't think that you have a simplicistic brain at all..c'mon who do you want to fool? :-D Someone simple would never appreciate H.R. Giger and, instead, would consider its art just disturbing (well..IT IS disturbing but that's the intent and part of its charm). Other artists I love are Magritte (surrealism) and the Flemish painter Hyeronimus Bosch :-) I haven't seen that documentary too..thank you for telling me!
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
:( made me sad
which means it's very, very, very GREAT :P
That's how I felt when i did the soul check 😛 but I'm always happy when I reach a good level of sadness so don't worry too much! And thank you always for your appreciation!
"Burial jar of cold delusions" love that.
"Cold" is a bit plain as an adjective but It came out like that and I wanted to keep it simple and to the point. I'm glad you liked.
@OriginalWorks
here are the 2 prompts :)
Single prompt option
https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/weekend-freewrite-01-13-2018-single-prompt-option
3 prompt option
https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/weekend-freewrite-jan-13-2018-part-1-the-first-sentence
33 to do... ready, steady go!
hahaha - let me know if you want me to take half....
Read, upvoted, commented, encouraged, brushed and cuddled, all like cute chicks ;-))
Considering that your poem was from the sound check prompt...
Today I am traveling from the town of Freewrite, delivering the latest of the Goddess Marianne's prompts accompanied with the musical honk of my bicycle's horn!
https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-87-5-minute-freewrite-sunday-prompt-turbine
hhahah! I can see you riding along the street, throwing prompts with a precise and calibrate shot, making them land on the home's carpets :-P