How would you prefer to behave with Children?
When it comes to parenting, very parent has their own style and that parenting style majorly comes from their own experiences with their parents. Not 100% but quite a lot of it comes from our own childhood experiences with our parents.
Good or bad for me but when I was a kid I never had my parents around, I was raised up in an environment of strangers a boarding school. I barely remember spending time with my parents. They had their own differences and that impacted my childhood to a great extent. But the good thing about it was that I had no parental conditioning. I grew up in my own way much with my own-self and sense. From a very young age I had decided that when I have my own child I would give him or her the best of life that a child could have.
In all the years of my Son growing up I never hit him, or would ever shout at him with a high voice. I have always believed that children are very sensitive, though sometimes they look notorious from the outside but from within they all have a soft heart and you never know which actions of us as parents can leave a deep wound on their heart. I agree that I was over soft with my Son, but he was also a very timid child right from his infancy stage, so I had to take extra care of him. Whereas on the other side my sister who also had a similar childhood like me had a very different mindset. She believes that unless children do not get some whacking they do not do and learn things. She has 2 boys and the elder one has got more beatings from her then the younger ones, and sometimes I see that the elder son is very rude to her at times.
But sometimes with my Son, I feel that too much of softness is also not good. Till date when it comes to family matters and relations he is very soft and gets very sensitive. May be my extra soft behavior towards him has made him like that. Imbalance of any type of behavior may not be right in their upbringing. When required, parents should be hard, but I will never encourage beating a child. In my boarding school, I remember we had a tuition teacher who would beat children very ruthlessly, and these were very small children. I had a lot of fear of her, and my lucky stars that she was never my teacher. Beating children is one thing I am completely against. I hear a lot of parents when they beat their children, they make comments like, this is the only way my child understands.
I do not think that is right. That is rather a very wrong impact on child's mental growth and probably when they grow up they would also do the same to their children as an inherited trauma from their parents.
I believe that children should be handled with a lot of love, care and respect and they should be nurtured in a manner that they have a healthy mental growth. What do you think about this?
If you are a parent, what type of parenting skills do you apply with your children?
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Just like you, I am against hitting children so that they learn, that is simple domestic violence. Our children are our responsibility and our treasures. We teach my daughters from a very early age to have good habits, especially to study, to such an extent we never had the need to be behind them to do their homework. I believe that instilling values in them from a very young age is the key to directing them, never by hitting them. The blows are returned sooner or later, in their behavior, they lose respect for you and only then will you realize that you failed as a parent. I don't know if you feel in your case that you are overprotective but I consider that it is natural for a mother. The character he may have does not depend so much on his upbringing but on his way of being, each head is different, experience will teach him to face difficulties and then he will turn to you for advice. Greetings and thanks for sharing your concerns. Happy New Year.
Such beautiful thoughts you have. I appreciate them so much, when children are small they just observe what we elders do and pick that up so fast in their own ways. What experience we want to give them is entirely our choice. By being harsh on them they only become rebellious is what I feel.
I agree. Thank you very much.
My daughter was once asked by a teacher what tricks I had in parenting because she and her siblings were so unusually mature and lovable. She was about 12, I think... She only said: we are allowed to educate ourselves ;-))
Meine Tochter wurde 'mal von einer Lehrerin gefragt, was ich in der Erziehung so für Tricks habe, weil sie und ihre Geschwister so ungewöhnlich reif und liebenswert wären. Da war sie etwa 12, glaube ich... Sie meinte nur: wir dürfen uns selbst erziehen ;-))
You are such an adorable mom. I am sure when she becomes a parent she will take on these good learnings that you have given and apply the same with her kids.
Thank you, friend!
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