"Why do I keep wanting to go back to my old partner?"

Hi,

I am in a strange situation and I was wondering if you could give me some insights into what seems to be going on in my heart.

About half a year ago I met a man and I was determined to make it work with him because at that time I felt a great connection between us. As time went by I felt that there were “ details ” coming up for me that bothered me. He was rather worried about my choice of going the “spiritual” way but he did try to accept it and we talked a lot about it. From my side, I accepted that he was not yet ready for spirituality to come into his life and I understood his worries.

After some debating with him, I realized that it was probably not for us to be together even though he was very willing to try. I had to admit to myself that although I felt Love for him I would not really be happy together with him..

So now we are not together anymore but my urge to be back with him is still here. It is as if whenever I am away from him, I want to go back, but when I am finally with him, I want to leave again!

I am confused about this, can you help me?

Thank you,

Julia

Credit: The Sketchbook Project

Julia,

The situation is confusing and I understand that you are looking for help. You feel as if you can not make up your “mind” but in your heart, you know what is best for you.

You see, the urge in all of us to give love and to be loved is grand. We are looking for this all our lives and we go through many challenges hoping to find what we are looking for. And then when we suddenly find someone who seems to be a suitable partner, we much too often just give in and accept things that are not really what we deserve. We do it because the urge for Love is so grand that we often compromise and give in to things that we think are OK to accept.

But you have already gone a step further and you have listened to your heart which told you that it was not appropriate for you to remain in this relationship. So be proud that you have been able to determine this for yourself.

What confuses you now is that you still would like to be loved and give this love to someone else, but there doesn’t seem to be an appropriate partner so you project it onto the dear one you had a connection with. And although you know on many levels that this connection is not appropriate for you in this now moment, you would naturally still like to share the love with someone.

If you examine the situation carefully you will easily see that you are fed by the give-and-take situation. You give love and that makes you feel good. You receive love and that makes you feel good too. That mutual feeding process must be broken (by you) in order for you to pierce reality to its hardcore elements; the core consciousness that is present in this situation.

Therefore share this love with yourself instead of looking for outside subjects to love; give it unconditionally to yourself. Feel it flow through you, through every part of your body, mind, and spirit. That way you will give Love to the most appropriate soul you will ever be connected with; yourself.

Soon after that, your “need” to go back to that man will vanish and you will be able to honestly discern if he is your TrueLove.

Expect changes. Good luck!

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