Insanity, Snow Days & Prayer | Actifit: Feb 10, 19
Today was a very difficult day, tears, disappointment, frustration, but also marked by laughter, joy, reconcilation and prayer.
I woke early this morning and despite myself, performed a 35 minute Shaun-T, Insanity workout, by myself. I hated every minute of it but it set day off in the right direction.
Unfortunately, after that my day was littered with difficult parenting moment after difficult moment. My eldest daughter was very aggressive today, saying and doing hurtful things to both myself and my wife.
Sure we had lots of great moments also, but sadly the day was tinted with darkness.
After going to a new church in Abbotsford, we ate a lovely brunch at CPDL and then made our way home to Surrey.
There were tears and painful pinches that came while we transitioned. It breaks my heart. It makes me feel I have taught her poorly, or that I have passed on my worst trait, my anger. But we arrived home, and it was snowing! ...Like, a lot.
The ground outside as I write this must have a foot of fresh snow.
And so I gathered my snow gear, prepared Hazel also, and we went sledding at her future school yard. That experience was beautiful, peaceful, and memorable, albeit short.
Once again however, as bed time approached, Hazel grew aggressive and said some very dark words. I calmly lifted her up and carried her to bed.
I set her down, and I explained how harsh her actions and words had been. She wept and protested. I calmly insisted she had been unacceptably rude, and even cruel. She cast me out of her bed, to the floor, and kicked wildly.
I waited. I prayed. Hazel spoke, "daddy I want a book". I answered "I am happy to read you a book sweetie but why are you so angry?".
Then through tears of regret, "daddy please pray for me."
I could hear in her voice sincerity and desperation... It nearly brought tears to my eyes.
I reached out and grasped her out stretched hand, and we prayed. We asked Jesus to help her feel joy, and love. We prayed that Jesus would reveal his love for Hazel to Hazel, so that she might know how precious she truly is. I prayed that we all might be more genuine, gentile, loving, and kind, not because we are good but because He is good and operates in and through us.
Hazel spoke up and asked Jesus to help Lumina sing better, and of course I echoed her loving sentiment. Lord, please help little Lumina speak and sing loudly and clearly so that we might honor and praise you Lord.
In the end, Hazel said that she had felt much better. And it was clear, she really was. Prayer had calmed her anger and aggression. The Lord had answered her cry for relief, relief from the shackles of anger.
We concluded the evening lovingly, together in her bed, cuddling, reading stories and listening to a CD I made her when she turned two years old.
Today was a difficult day, emotionally, physically and spiritually... But it was worth it.
As my pastor today said, people are always worth fighting for, kids need us, we cannot give up on them. They need us to come along side them, in prayer and leadership, to help them become what they are meant to become. As we need others to come along side us also...
It will not always be easy, but it is always the right thing.
Height185 cm | Weight92 kg | Body Fat20 % | |||
Waist102 cm | Thighs58 cm | Chest108 cm |
I feel like we are all so complicated, it's hard to know why we do things.
Like the way a dog might eat grass because he doesn't feel well and wants to force himself to vomit.. maybe she was looking for something.
And maybe she got it, beautiful to hear your story about the reconciliation.
Love that picture btw. Good marketing for Winter.
Haha yeah, very picturesque.
You're right, I think often humans (kids and adults) fail to understand what we are experiencing and then lash out. The outlashing can be physical, verbal, or psychological, but of course no matter which it is, it hurts those nearest us.
I think you're right, she was looking for something. In part, I think looking to see how much we loved her. Also probably, looking to understand her own frustration and pain in a way she hadn't been able to before that moment.
Thanks for your comment.
p.s. you comment about "marketing for winter" makes me smile because it reminds me of this unusual advertising campaign I saw a while back... you know how most advertising is for a specific brand, like NIKE, or McDonalds, but a few years back I saw this ad campaign for "Go Bowling", and it always makes me smile cause who paid for that thing? Some Bowling cartel?! I picture several "powerful" men, seated round a dimly lit table, maybe there are pictures of famous bowlers, framed, around the room. And they are taking turns complaining that people don't bowl, and we need to take action... haha
I think you handled those situations with your daughter very well my friend :-)
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good luck~i
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