"I reject men soon after the first date. Am I normal?"

in #advice5 years ago

Hi Nomad,

I am confused. You see, yesterday evening I finally met with a guy that I have been chatting and conversing with for the past ten days, but the minute I saw him I realized he was not ‘my type’. Such scenarios happen with me time and again and the problem is that I am beginning to think that perhaps I have a defect; perhaps something is wrong with me. Is it normal that I immediately rule men out on the first date? Is it normal that I really need to force myself to go out with this guy again?!

Thanks for any insight,

Daria

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Credit: theproblemwithdating

Daria,

At the core level the question you are asking is very simple – should I disregard my feelings and succumb to social norms? And the answer is as always – it is up to you. This is your life and it is a choice you have to make.

Human beings were given the wonderful gift of intuition, of feelings, of the heart, but the moment their inner hunches are confronted with the mind’s rational thinking they doubt what they feel and choose what their outer senses say is real.

On our way to find our True-Lover we meet many new people. When we encounter a new candidate for a relationship we want to know right away if it is the right thing to do; whether this person is a potential partner for a great romance and if they are our One? This is the BIG question, isn’t it? And if we remember that there is no one single pre-planned destiny and that we are the masters of our lives, then the situation becomes even more confusing. “How can I choose? What can I base my decisions on?”.

We only need to realize that our feelings, our hunches and our inner voices are the tools that we have for crossing time and space and for knowing, right here and right now, what the future holds.

If you didn’t feel attracted to this guy; if your heart didn’t miss a pulse when you saw him; if your body did not get excited during the time you spent together; if you had so many doubts after the meeting – then why beat yourself up? Why question your own self worth? Trust what you feel! Trust what your body is screaming at you! You are normal, only your normality resides in the kingdom of love whereas other humans’ normality resides within a limited box they call “reality”. Quiet the fearful mind of yours, remind it that you deserve the best, remind it that it doesn’t know the whole picture and that True-Love begins with “The Click”. Remind your whole self that you choose realization and nothing less.

Indeed, as I have explained before, the concept of the twin soul is just a myth and we are not required to remain single until our True-Lover comes. However, it is recommended that whoever we choose to have a relationship with would be someone we connect with on all levels – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually and the last two are the most crucial. If you follow this criterion you can be certain that life itself will bring your True-Lover to you, effortlessly and magically, through amazing circumstances and so-called coincidences. Then, that partner will connect with you on the entire spectrum of your capacities.

And until they come you must get ready, preparing yourself through refining your intuition and spiritual wisdom. One of which is knowing to listen to your feelings and to honor the messages that the kingdom of love sends you through your intuitive knowledge and subtle hunches.

And so although I said in the beginning that it is a choice you have to make, I am quite sure that my answer paves the appropriate path for you.

Good luck!


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