"Is the 'click' crucial or not?"
Hi Nomad,
So far I have had several relationships but only in the first two did I really feel that “click” and waited impatiently for meetings and conversations with my boyfriend. Since then I have met several more guys who seemed nice, kind and even charming but I haven't felt that same “click”. Although something was missing I convinced myself, time and again, that I had nothing to lose and that I should try… However, I have realized that not surprisingly those relationships did not last long and mostly on my account.
Do you think that one should get into a relationship even though it seems only 'nice' or that one should always look for the click that attracts spouses to each other?
Thank you,
Eve
Credit: torteenblog
Eve,
It is not simple to give a clear-cut definition of that famous” click”. Why? Because basically, it is a subjective inner feeling which is unique for each individual and only when we finally perceive it do we recognize it beyond any doubt.
Your question reflects the dilemma that many people have. On the one hand, if they wait for the “click” to show up in every new relationship, they may end up lonely and miserable and may never experience a relationship. On the other hand, if they compromise and delve into a relationship without the “click” they will feel bad about themselves and will always walk around with the thought that they have might missed something big in life, True-Love perhaps.
Let’s begin with describing the click\
Firstly, it should be understood that the click does not necessarily need to be expressed through immense enthusiasm towards your date right from first sight; nor it should be followed by fainting or butterflies in your body. Still, something must be there; a feeling of curiosity, of slight excitement, of at least minor erotic arousal. You have to feel attracted to your date, wanting to hold their hand or getting physically closer to them. You surely do NOT need to know from the start that this is the person you will get married to. If you do have that knowing it’s OK, but the knowing is not that important.
The click is mostly accompanied by a feeling of ease and being in a “bigger than life” situation as if a wonderful and magical coincidence brought you together. You should feel “light” during the date and really have fun just being with that person. The click allows you to see your spouse without flaws as if they were an angel in human form. When you feel a click towards someone, your gaze automatically will wander towards them. Your eyes will look for him/her no matter how crowded the place or how physically far they are from you, and once you make eye contact with them your heart will miss a pulse. No doubt – there is a click there.
Appropriateness
Any relationship that initially involved a growing and expanding click should be followed and quested after, even if the outer circumstances might present certain obstacles (age difference, status, other gaps, distance, etc). The click is a sign from the psyche towards the personality to listen to its guidance. Your Master-self knows your higher purpose in life and what will serve you the best. Therefore, it constantly speaks with you and perpetually delivers messages for your growth. One of these messages is the click by which your soul says: “I urge you to get in touch with this person because through the relationship you will grow and learn and become more. This is highly appropriate!”
Credit: thisisinsider
You may say – “but I have seen many couples that grew to love each other without feeling any click at first”. This may be true but I urge you to look closer at those couple’s love stories. They certainly felt something in the beginning, perhaps so minute that they didn’t notice it, but something was definitely there. Besides, it should be remembered that any relationship has its merits: intimacy, fun, companionship, mutual enrichment, caring and so on. Some people settle for those lovely attributes and that is fine! However, those who look for the extremely deep emotions that will propel them fast forward in their own lives cannot and should not give up on that “click”.
Indeed, Eve, there will be times when you are alone; times when you will have to do the inner work by yourself without a comforting hand and a hugging body next to you. The rewards, however, will make your journey well worth it. Once you experience a relationship with a click (as you have) you will find it very difficult to make do with less (as you have found out).
Good luck!
