Why Aren't You BEING All Those Things You Say You "Really Want to Do?"

It's entirely possible that I have spent altogether too much time around psychology and self-development. At least it feels like that sometimes... particularly when there are always "clever sayings" and "motivational words" floating around in my head so much.

At the moment, the one that most comes to mind is ancient: "Physician, heal thyself."

Flowering bush in our yard...

Afternoon Cawfee Tawk...

Mrs. Denmarkguy has been on the phone with clients pretty much non-stop, today. Seems like people's psyches are all linked in some mysterious way... nothing happens for days (or even weeks), and the suddenly everyone decides to have an "emotional meltdown" and call for help... on the same day.

What the heck is up with that?

But I am digressing.

Over our afternoon coffee — which often serves as "decompression time" for both of us — we were talking about the plans and dreams and hopes people have; the ones that we have.

And it brought up the very poignant question she had asked a client, earlier:

"Why aren't you BEING all those things you keep saying you 'really want to do?'"

In my previous post today, I explored the "lies" we tell ourselves... and — in a sense — this is a bit of a continuation of this.

I think we pretty much all have things we want to — or have wanted to — do, at one time or another. We say things like: "I've always wanted to learn the piano, be an artist , publish a book, take up judo, learn to hang glide..." and so forth. Sometimes, it has to do with careers. In the case of the client Mrs. Denmarkguy had been talking to, she had always wanted to have her own radio show that mixed cool alternative music with a sort of "spiritual talk radio."

Washington's rugged coastline... near our house

"So why aren't you DOING that?"

Of course, we always have a litany of excuses and rationalizations ready. Often, we create contingencies: "When I have more time, next time I get a raise, when I can afford to work part time..."

I remember well my own excuse for not becoming a writer: "It's very TIME consuming, but not INCOME producing!" Whereas that's perhaps true in some way, the vast majority of the world's writers actually have full-time jobs doing something other than writing.

The truth is that I am basically shit at focusing on anything for any period of time... which is what makes me really good at writing "short commentary pieces" like this one, but lousy at stringing together 70,000 words of prose into a book-length manuscript.

Ironic, isn't it... that I have probably written in excess of a million words across 970 posts and 13,000 comments in the course of my two years in this community?

But writing articles and blogging in fun, while the idea of writing a book — even on a topic I know well and have explored exhaustively — sounds like Tedium Pursuit.

A look inside the bloom of a pink rhododendron

Do We REALLY Want to Do What we SAY?

Sometimes we owe it to ourselves to stop and "take inventory."

There are things we say we want to do... but which of those things are just empty words, or maybe old echoes of a time when we were not at all the person we are today?

And who are we doing these things for? Do you really want to learn to sew clothes, or are you simply "saying that" as a way to appease your mother, who always felt it was a skill you should have? Are you allowing someone else to "should on you?"

Whereas I probably don't really want to write a book... I always wanted to be self-employed, I wanted to be a writer, I wanted to work on my art... and I DO all those things. I also wanted to live by the ocean... and I do, even though it has been at more expense than anticipated. Which brings up another aspect of our "excuse making:" which is that choices have consequences.

Sure, we may genuinely want to DO what we say we've always wanted to do... but we're not willing to take the chance of living with the consequences of those choices.

Financial instability, lack of control, lack of security, lowered status, loss of power... the desires of our egos may be in conflict with the consequences of our dreams... so we "talk the good talk," but we never quite get to "walking the walk."

I remember my friend Diana who had quite a lot of artistic talent as a painter... but she just never could bring herself to do anything more than occasionally dabble. She started talking about "wanting to be a painter" back when we were in our early 30's, but she never acted on it. As far as I know, she is still "planning" to become a painter... at this point after she retires from teaching, in about another ten years.

Inside the trumpet of a daffodil in our garden...

So What's the Teaching Here?

Whereas it's undeniably a good thing to be "sensible" in your approach to life... and have at least a rudimentary grip on this thing we call "reality," don't let too many rationalizations get in your way!

Take some time to figure out whether your hopes and dreams are really yours (not an extension of someone else's), and if they are, starting thinking of how you can bring them into your reality... it's not an "all or nothing" situation, in most cases.

Take it from an lazy old fart: If I can do it, so can you!

Thanks for reading!

How about YOU? What are some of your dreams, hopes and aspirations that you "really want to do" someday? What's holding you back? If you're hesitant, are you sure they are really YOUR dreams... or are they about living up to someone else's expectations? Why would you do that? If they are genuinely yours, what can you do to put things in motion? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!

(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Created at 190409 21:42 PST
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