Guy in Bizarre Costume With Badge Tries To Extort Dude Shipping Bananas

Freedom versus slavery at the Port of Miami in the USSA.  

Dude with huge boat full of bananas is starting to unload his cargo at the Port of Miami.  Guy in bizarre costume with badge approaches him.

Guy With Badge:  Hey, what do you think you’re doing?
Dude:  Unloading my cargo.    

Guy With Badge:  Has it been inspected, taxed, and approved?
Dude:  No.  Who would do such a silly thing?

Guy With Badge:  I can’t let you unload that cargo until you’ve followed the proper procedures.    
Dude:  Sure you can.  It’s easy.  Just mind your own business, and stay out of mine.    

Guy With Badge (snippy):  That’s not how it works, pal.  You can’t just import things willy-nilly.  There are restrictions necessary to make free trade work.

Dude:  Can you hear yourself?
Guy With Badge:  Look, if ya don’t pay the import tax and get approval, then I’ll be forced to call the police.    

Dude:  You mean you’re going to get some other people in costumes to violently coerce and rob me?
Guy With Badge:  I’m serious, wise guy.  This is serious business.

Dude finishes loading cargo onto semi-truck.      

Dude:  Look, this is real simple.  I’ve got buyers lined up for hundreds of miles.  All I’m gonna do is drive this truck away from here and sell these bananas.  You’re threatening to call in a gang with guns to steal part of my property.  So who’s in the right, and who’s wrong?   

Guy With Badge:  It’s not stealing when it’s the law, pal.    

Dude starts driving truck away.  Aggressors in blue with badges come out of dark corners and shoot out his tires.  Truck stops.  Dude hops out.  Aggressors tackle dude, put shackles on him, throw him in a cage.   Aggressors with badges go home, worship flag, munch GMO, yell hoo-raw, ‘Merica!  Tons of bananas get wasted.    

6 months later…….

Same dude shows up in huge boat full of bananas again.  This time he’s at the head of a 10-ship fleet, all of which are loaded with goods from around the world.  Ships dock.  People start to unload.  Same guy with badge approaches in a frenzy.

Guy With Badge:  Hey! Who authorized this?! What are you doing?
Dude:  Unloading cargo, just like last time.    

Guy With Badge (slightly hesitant):  Hey…..wait a doggone minute…...I know you from somewhere.    
Dude:  Yes, you participated in violating my Natural Rights six months ago.  You extorted me and helped throw me in a cage, remember?

Guy With Badge:  Ah right, you’re that wise guy.  I guess you’re a glutton for punishment, eh?  All these ships are yours?

Dude:  No, just some other people who know what freedom is and aren’t afraid to get it.  We’ve got a voluntary agreement.    

Guy With Badge:  Well, same deal, pal.  All of ya better get your papers in order or there’ll be consequences like last time.    

Dude:  Would you look up, please?
Guy With Badge (smirks):  And why should I?

Dude:  Because there are multiple remote controlled aircraft recording this as it’s being streamed live over multiple platforms on the internet.  Not to mention some of the crew members who are streaming live on their own channels with their phones.  (grin)

Guy With Badge (panicky):  Uh...what? Ya, ya...ya can’t do that!

Dude:  Consider it self-defense.  If you’re going to engage in violence against me or any other member of this crew, it’ll be in front of tens of thousands of people, at least.  Your crimes will be well documented.  And by the way, the resolution on those cameras is extraordinary! Your name and badge number are visible.  Wanna see? (holds up phone screen)

Guy With Badge:  I’m calling in for backup right now!   

Dude:  Sure, go ahead.  Document more of your overt criminality.  More people will get woken up to what a ridiculous, evil farce these “customs” chokepoints are.  And what an insidious form of slavery taxation is.  

A few aggressors in blue show up again.

Guy With Badge:  Come on now, be reasonable.  You know what’ll happen if you try to ride out of here with those cargo trucks, right?   

Dude:  Please tell our audience.   
Guy With Badge:  We’ll have to stop you.    

Dude:  You mean initiate violence against us? Shoot my tires out like last time?   
Guy With Badge:  Just doing our job.    

Dude:  And the Natural Right of a free, sentient being is to use righteous self-defense. And we have plenty of tools to do so, I can assure you.  And remember, if you shoot first, it will be seen live around the world.    

Guy With Badge gulps hard.  Aggressors in blue cower with uncertainty.  People finish unloading cargo, get into trucks, start engines.    

Dude:  Well, here we go.  We’re engaging in peaceful actions that everyone naturally has the right to do.  You all have a choice.  You can do the right thing and let us pass, or you can commit a crime by initiating violence against us.  You have a choice.    

Trucks start rolling.  Aggressors stand down.  

Liberty increases in the world.  

Slavery decreases.    

Smile.    

The End

Thanks for your time and attention!

Just say "NO" to slavery!

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