NIP THE CAT - Original Fiction Script - Episode 5

On the previous episode of Nip The Cat……

Rich got a coercive ultimatum to pay extortion (a ticket) from a badged goon (code enforcer) for having a garden in his front yard.  Also, some shady discrepancies, billions of them, showed up in the accounting numbers at Rich’s corporate gig.  

Episode 5

Scene 1

Rich is straightening his collar in the mirror as he preps for his big day in court to fight the “illegal garden ticket”.    

Rich (deep breath):  Well, today’s the big day, Nip.
Nip:  Why? Is it free lunch day? Just kidding.  Cats all know TANSTAAFL.   

Rich:  Rizzo should be here any minute.    
Nip:  Not big news.  He’s here every day.    

Rich:  And Asha, too.
Nip:  Are you sure Rizzo won’t scare her away?

Rich’s phone starts barking, alerting him to a text message.    

Nip:  Is that outlandish noise really necessary?
Rich:  Asha’s here!

Asha shows up wearing jeans and a t-shirt.  The t-shirt reads:

What is a right?

Rich:  Hey!
Asha:  Are ya ready?

Rich:  Yep!
Asha:  Nervous?

Rich:  Nope.
Asha:  Your shirt’s on backwards.    

Nip:  That’s what all people do when they’re not nervous, right?
Rich:  So how does this Rights Vigilante network work?

Asha:  Pretty simple.  Basically, people get an alert on their phone regarding the state harassment taking place, and if they want to help, they’ll show up to defend the victim.     

Rich (uncertain):  I dunno, it sounds kind of confrontational.
Asha:  It’s just an act of defense, really.  And anyone who participates has to do it peacefully.  If they take any violent actions, they get suspended from the group.    

Rich:  And how many people are coming?

Asha:  We don’t know.  Since all of the communications are online, it can be seen by the G-mob, of course.  So nothing is planned beforehand, that way it can’t be neutralized.  We could have a hundred people show up.

Rich:  Or zero.

Rizzo bebops in, unannounced.

Nip:  Speaking of zero…..
Rizzo:  What’s for breakfast?

Nip:  There’s an abundant supply of hot air courtesy of you.   
Rich:  There’s some old bread and questionable fruit.

Rizzo:  That’s more than I’ve got at my place!
Nip:  The life of a starving gamer.  Cue violin.

Rizzo:  So when do I get paid for this?
Rich:  Paid?

Asha:  Yeah, I didn’t tell you? The Rights Vigilante program is incentivized.  Anyone who participates gets paid in crypto.    
Rich (to Rizzo):  You have crypto?

Rizzo:  This’ll be my first.    
Nip:  He’ll still find an excuse to eat our food.

Scene 2

Outside the county courthouse, a crowd of over 200 is waiting as Rich, Rizzo, and Asha approach.  Nip is riding proudly on Rich’s shoulder.    

Rich (shocked):  Oh my God! There’s so many people! What do we do?
Asha:  Walk into the courthouse and get some freedom back.   

Nip:  This is gonna be epic.   

A few people recognize Asha and say hi.  They congratulate Rich on fighting back against the system.    

Rich (whispering to Asha):  Does everyone know about my case and why we’re here?
Nip:  I suspect Rizzo doesn’t.    

Asha:  Yep, it was all made public so people could know if they wanted to participate or not.  It’s being streamed live, too, by the way.    

The crowd walks into the courthouse, with Rich at the head of the group.  Guys with badges try to stop them and search them, to no avail.  Bailiff gets bug eyed and gets mild cough from coffee down wrong pipe.  Old guy in strange black gown has jaw drop and then melts into pouty grimace.    

Guy In Gown:  What’s the meaning of all this?   
Nip:  To stop extortion.  Who does this guy think he is?

Rich (gulps):  I was given a ticket for an illegal garden.
Guy In Gown:  So go pay it and get out of my courtroom!

Asha: He’s not going to pay it.  We’re here to have it thrown out.
Guy In Gown:  Let me see the ticket in question.

Rich hands it over.   

Guy In Gown:  According to this, you were clearly in violation of the code.
Asha:  But he didn’t do anything wrong.

Guy In Gown:  Young lady, I don’t….

Crowd starts chanting “free-dom….free-dom….free-dom!!!”

Guy In Gown (gritting teeth, sweating):  What are all these people doing here?! I demand order in my courtroom! You all can’t be here!

Nip:  Why not? They paid for it, against their will, mind you.    

Asha:  Just throw out this fallacious ticket and we’ll all go.  By the way, this is being streamed online.    

Guy In Gown:  Uh...well….(takes closer look at ticket)….It appears that this ticket was not properly served, so it must be thrown out at this time.  Court now adjourns for a 15 minute recess!   

Guy In Gown scampers away from the crowd.  People cheer and start to file out.  Rich and Asha high-five.    

Nip:  Funny how criminals act when they’re confronted in the light….. 

Scene 3

The next day at the office of Green Mountain Accounting, Rich’s corporate accounting gig, a co-worker named Monty is wasting time at his desk, youtube surfing, when he comes across a familiar face…..

Monty (arched eyebrows):  Is that…..Rich?!

Monty takes aggressive sip of coffee and spills on shirt.    

Monty:  At a courthouse?……

Monty goes to Mr. Wash’s office and does cop knock.  Mr. Wash gets startled from nap under desk, jumps up, accidentally bangs head.    

Mr. Wash (rubbing head):  Make it snappy, I’m busy!

Monty bolts in with video cued up on phone.

Monty:  Sir, I think you should see this. (shows screen to Mr. Wash)
Mr. Wash:  Are you watching youtube at work?

Monty (sputtering):  Uh, I was on a coffee break, sir, and uh…..anyway, take a look, it’s Rich!

Mr. Wash (peering closer):  Hmmmm, interesting.  I didn’t know we had such a rebel on our hands.  Thanks for bringing this to my attention, uh….

Monty:  Monty, sir.   
Mr. Wash:  Yes, of course! I knew that! Carry on, Monty.  Back to work.

Monty starts to leave.

Mr. Wash:  Oh, and Monty, you’ll have to work late today as punishment for watching youtube at your desk.    
Monty:  Huh?

Mr. Wash:  Can’t have any slacking going on here, not on my watch!
Monty:  Yes, sir.

Monty leaves.  Mr. Wash gets on phone, calls head of company, explains the situation.     

Head of Company:  So we’ve got a rabble rouser on our hands, looks like.    
Mr. Wash:  Yes, sir.

Head of Company:  So can him! What are you calling me for?
Mr. Wash:  Because he knows too much.  If we let him go, he might squeal.    

Head of Company (gasps):  He knows about Operation Greenhole?!
Mr. Wash:  Well, sir, I was trying to be incognito and not say that name over the phone, but yes.    

Head of Company:  Hmmmm, ok, I’ll contact one of our clients and see about some neutralization options.  In the meantime, keep your eyes peeled.    

Mr. Wash:  Yes, sir. You can count on me.    

Click.

Mr. Wash immediately grabs pillow, crawls under desk, curls into fetal position, starts snoozing.  

Stay tuned for episode 6!

Thanks for your time and attention!

Just say "NO" to slavery!

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