Strange Interchange With A Person In A Blue Uniform

Anarchist courageously speaks truth while being coerced on the side of the road.  

Anarchist is driving car and sees the unmistakable flashing lights of a rights violator in a blue uniform, known as a “police officer” or a “cop”.  Anarchist stops his car and is approached by the person in a blue uniform.

Uniformed Person:  Do you know why I pulled you over?
Anarchist:  You wanted to congratulate me on driving faster than the extortion-funded sign says is allowed?

Uniformed Person:  Oh, funny guy, eh? License and registration.

Anarchist:  By license, do you mean a violently imposed driving permission card and tracking number for me? And by registration, do you mean a violently imposed tracking number for my car?

Uniformed Person:  Are you on drugs?

Anarchist:  I’m not actually obligated to answer your questions, because I, just like every sentient being, am a sovereign individual.  You are actually violating the natural rights that are inherently woven through the fabric of the universe.  My rights, your rights, every sentient being’s rights.  However, just for kicks, I’ll go ahead and answer.  I had 3 cups of coffee this morning.    

Uniformed Person:  Now I know you’re on drugs.    
Anarchist:  Has my drinking of coffee resulted in the harm of someone?

Uniformed Person:  I wasn’t talking about the coffee, wise guy.

Anarchist:  But that’s the only drug that I’ve mentioned, and it provoked your reaction.  Coffee contains caffeine, which is a drug.    

Uniformed Person:  I don’t know what you’ve been smokin, son, but I’m gonna go ahead and search your car.    

Anarchist:  Ah, this leads me to believe that you think that I have ingested some type of other substance which has been arbitrarily deemed “illegal” by psychopaths scribbling words on paper and calling it man’s law.  Man’s law, of course, being illegitimate if it is contrary to Natural Law.  But I say to you, order-follower in blue, that caffeine is the only drug I’ve ingested today.  Not that it matters what I’ve ingested.  I have the right to do whatever I want with my body, so long as it doesn’t harm another sentient being.    

Uniformed Person:  I’m gonna search you and your car anyway, got that?

Anarchist:  When you say “search”, do you mean violate my right to privacy? Do you mean use a threat of violence in order to carry out this violation of my privacy? Such actions are wrong, don’t you know?

Uniformed Person:  Pop the trunk, wise guy.
Anarchist:  If you weren’t wearing that uniform and badge, would you still take these same actions? 

Uniformed Person grabs radio and takes a few paces.  He calls in for “backup”.

Anarchist:  Did you just call for other members of your uniformed gang to come help you violate my rights?

Uniformed person growls.

Anarchist:  I’ll tell ya what.  If you answer one question for me, I’ll pop the trunk and reveal the contents, which is a very old and worn set of golf clubs.  If someone in a fancy suit would scribble some words on paper and pronounce that golf clubs are illegal, starting tomorrow, would you violently throw me in a cage for possession of golf clubs?

Uniformed Person:  That’s ridiculous!   
Anarchist:  Any more ridiculous than doing that with a plant, rather than golf clubs?

Uniformed Person:  Look, I see your point, but I’m just doing my job.
Anarchist:  That’s no excuse for doing evil.  There is never any reason for doing evil.   

Uniformed Person:  I would never arrest someone for having golf clubs, now pop the damn trunk!

Anarchist pops the trunk.  Uniformed person takes a look at the pathetic set of clubs, huffs, and closes the trunk.    

Anarchist:  Now that you’ve inspected my golf clubs, if I’m not being detained, then I’ll be on my way.

Uniformed Person:  I’m going to give you a ticket first.

Anarchist:  By ticket, do you mean a piece of paper that will allow me to enter an event of some sort, like a concert or show? Or do you mean a piece of paper that claims that I must pay a fee to the government gang, and that failure of my doing so might result in further extortion and/or actual violent consequences?

Uniformed Person:  Do you know how fast you were going?
Anarchist:  Faster than some control freak deems acceptable?

Another extortion-funded vehicle pulls up and two more uniformed rights violators come on the scene.  They speak in hushed tones among themselves.  One of the newly arrived uniformed characters approaches the driver’s side window with handcuffs.    

Uniformed Person 2:  Step out of the vehicle and put your hands over your head.    
Anarchist:  Are you going to violently throw me in a cage now?   

Uniformed Person 2:  We’re taking you to jail.
Anarchist:  Can you describe the difference between a jail cell and a cage?

Uniformed Person 3 (to cop 1):  You were right.  He is a wise guy. 

Uniformed Person 2:  Why won’t you comply?
Anarchist:  Why do you think you have the right to coerce? Such a right does not exist for anyone.

Uniformed Persons 1 and 2 grab the anarchist, pull him out of the car, throw him on the ground, and cuff him.  They pull him up and force him into an extortion-funded “squad car”.  The car speeds off.

Anarchist:  Why am I in this car?   
Uniformed Person 1:  You broke the law.    

Anarchist:  I drank some coffee, drove a car, asked and answered some questions, and was violently thrown into the back of this vehicle.  And what law are you referring to? I didn’t violate Natural Law, which is the only legitimate law.    

Uniformed Person 1 groans.  A few minutes later they arrive at a center for human caging, called a jail.    

Anarchist:  You should’ve just given me a piece of paper you call a “ticket”and driven away.  Look at all of the extra energy you’re expending in order to throw me in a cage.    

Uniformed Person 1:  You refused the ticket.    
Anarchist:  I did no such thing.  All I did was ask you what type of ticket you meant.

Uniformed Person 1:  Tell it to the judge.    
Anarchist;  By “judge”, do you mean a person in a strange gown who other people obey out of fear?

Uniformed Person 1 looks at the anarchist, narrows his eyes quizzically, and says, “I never thought about it like that.”

Anarchist smiles at the seed of liberty that has just taken root in the blue uniformed person’s mind.    
 
Thanks for your time and attention!

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Top image is from pixabay