Angry... Finally I experienced anger. Yes, this is a rare event for me

Finally I experienced anger. Yes, this is a rare event for me. I haven't been angry for months. In fact, I honestly forget when I was last angry. There was a friend of mine who called me "long axis" because in a situation that I should have been angry with, I wasn't angry either. Another friend of mine said I had a high boiling point, borrowed one of the program titles on MTV.

In the office, I was never angry, at most I gave a loud tone, but not angry with a high and emotional tone. At home, I rarely get angry with my wife. Finally, anger may have been more than a year ago, exactly I forgot. I also almost never scolded a child. When my first child was born, my oldest brother advised me: If you want to scold a child later, please look carefully at the face of our child while remembering who has given the child, our anger will be lost. That advice is effective until now. In fact, I once wanted to be angry with my child, after I looked at my child's face to remember the creator, I laughed to myself, because the expression on my child was really funny. As if God was teasing me "angry at yee .." through the expression of my child.

My father never even got angry in front of me. All my life, I have never been angry with my father. I used to be jealous of my friends who were often angry with his father. My father's friends in the office got confused and asked my mother: "What are you like when you're angry?" Because years of working together they never saw Father angry. Even my father's boss deliberately provoked him into anger, with painful words. Not angry, Dad just left his boss. Maybe my father was angry at that time, but he chose to go compared to shouting that was useless. Besides being infrequently angry, my father also rarely got sick. There must be a positive correlation between anger and pain.

There is a friend of mine who advised me, if it's angry it's not good to hold it back. Healthier if anger is released occasionally. Even though I also didn't mean to hold back anger. Indeed, the anger doesn't appear. Even if the model appears different from most angry people. My angry expressions are usually silent and talk curtly and firmly.

But yesterday I finally got angry "real", I snapped at people and hit my hand to the table (hurt too). This is an achievement for me. I've never been so angry. The cause is also trivial, before I also experienced it often but never got angry. Yesterday, suddenly there was an urge to be angry. And I leave it out. When I get angry I feel that anger, it feels like this. Really uncomfortable and unnecessary. It's only a few seconds, but the words that don't need to go out, and the pain in the hand is unnecessary (I just remember, the table is marble). I regret.

Generally people after anger just regret. In the afternoon I was called by the boss of the person I was angry to apologize for my disappointment. But I felt very sorry and apologized too. I am sorry. My anger is not comparable to the mistakes that have been made. The hard words that came out were like nails that I had already stuck in the heart of that person, and after being pulled out I still left the wound. Fortunately, my anger quickly passed. I understand that emotions and negative thoughts can damage my day, according to the principle of law of attraction. So I quickly intended to be calm, peaceful, and happy again. I say my "swicthword" for peace: BE. Peacefully arrived, and lost anger.

Whatever your profession, businessman or employee, to always be in a state of peace and calm is important. Chaotic thoughts due to anger become unclear. Deepak Chopra likens this to a storm-stricken ocean. The waves are as high as a hill. If you throw a stone the size of a car, the impact will not be seen. Conversely, a calm mind is like a very calm lake. You also throw a pebble and the waves will appear to propagate throughout the lake. If you are planting a seed of success in mind, make sure you are in a calm state like a calm lake. If not, it's useless, like throwing stones into the ocean in the middle of the storm. So I immediately evaluated why my anger could come out.

I read the literature, it turns out the cause of anger is: "Anger comes out as a response to feelings of dissatisfaction, frustration and unhappiness, which usually arises when we are like a person, an object or a situation." OK, so being angry is a response, the source of feeling disappointed, frustrated or unhappy. As for my situation yesterday, I certainly wasn't frustrated, I was also happy, but I was still angry too.

So maybe the source is more of a disappointment, because the service I received did not meet my expectations.

Because anger is a response, it means we can control. Because the response is up to us. In the same situation, we can choose to be angry or choose to be calm.

Here are some tips we can do to control anger:

• Feel.

Yesterday I felt a moment before I was angry. It's a good idea to train to realize this angry moment that will come, so that you can take control immediately. Because if it explodes it will be difficult to control.

• Stop.

Stop what we are doing at that time. If the trigger of anger is in front of you, then just leave it. If you are angry while arguing, stop the debate immediately. Don't say the words again, leave your meeting if necessary.

• Switch Attention.

Divert your mind's attention to something else. For example by taking a deep breath and counting to ten. If you are standing, you should sit down, this can reduce anger. If you are sitting, drink water. If there is no drinking water, at least close your eyes while breathing deeply and regularly. Or if it is for Muslims I suggest while breathing deeply in istighfar. Remembering God proved to be effective in preventing anger from exploding outward. If you still want to explode, also take ablution and prayer, or meditate if you can meditate. As soon as you get ablutions, the anger is usually gone.

One way to distract: Read. When I was a child when I was angry, my mother was told to read. Indeed, it turns out that our faces are ugly when angry. So most angry people don't want to read. So just try reading it, maybe we will be embarrassed to see our faces fold.

• Heal

After anger subsides. Immediately heal the pain in the heart when angry. If you don't already have one, just buy Sandy MacGregor's "Piece of Mind" book. There you can learn how to build your place of peace, and access it quickly again. You can also create and use emotional anchors. This requires repeated training, before it becomes automatic for you.

• Or the simplest way is to remember your happiest times. The point is to return the feeling of peace and happiness in your heart, because anger will go away so peacefully and happily come.

• You also have to forgive people who trigger your anger. If you can't say sorry directly, forgive yourself. This power of forgiveness can cure anger.

• Leave (Let it Go).

This is the principle of detachment. We are angry because the situation does not suit our wishes. Even though we sometimes don't know God's purpose which is definitely good. So let it go, trust God. The more we attach to what we want, the more we are angry. If my father said first: "Yo wis benlah. Bismillah kersaning Allah ".

May be useful.