BEASTLY TALES

LIFE INSURANCE

“Were you insured?” As he stared at the wreck,
“Looks like you survived, by the skin of your neck.”
“Don’t you mean, the skin of my teeth?”
“That’s how I survived, by being underneath.”
“Yes, underneath all that wreckage, twisted and torn,”
“Before the cliff-face collapsed, all so forlorn!”
“For many hours, I lay, quite close to death.”
“It was so cold, couldn’t get my breath.”

“I was insured, but the policy didn’t have a cliff collapse clause,”
“It also didn’t cover events incurred outdoors.”
“I don’t wish to complain or disparage,”
“But my policy only covered the car whilst in the garage!”
“But, fear not, the car had a warranty,”
“Perhaps the manufacturers will replace it for free!”

“The main thing is, you were not hurt,”
“Apart from ingesting several pecks of dirt.”
“Well, there I was, driving along,”
“A song in my heart, yes, in my heart a song!”
“And then this idiot runs “smack-bang”, right into me!”
“Causing me to glance off a tree!”
“Then the horrible rumbling sound,”
“As that cliff-face covered me, and the ground.”
“Then only darkness, and the bitter cold.”
“I genuinely wondered if I would ever get old.”
“The police came along, charged me with dangerous driving.”
“Completely disinterested in if I was surviving!”
“They gave me a breathalyser test through the rubble,”
“Seemed annoyed when results didn’t burst the bubble.”
“I asked them how I could get back to town,”
Their response, “You’ll have to walk, you clown!”