BEASTLY TALES

A MOMENTOUS EVENT

Issie Isotope was, for the moment, busy.
He was off on his bicycle to see Lizzy.
Lizzy was his “goil” to be sure,
Issie, on his best behaviour, to lure,
Her even closer than ever before,
Issie couldn’t wait to get out of the door.
“I’ll quickly pedal right down the road,”
“It’s a shame Lizzy lives next to that toad.”
“Yes, that right Royal toad Algernon Bright.”
“He’s always up to things that just aren’t right!”

So Issie, on his bike, momentum did gain,
He sped down the road, even though it did rain.
He urgently braked in front of Lizzie’s house,
Spying Algernon, that two-timing louse!
He was on his way to Lizzy’s front gate,
Issie headed him off, before it was too late.
“What are your intentions, you mindless ape?”
Such language did cause Algernon to gape.
“Why are you haranguing my bride to be?”
“If you want to harangue anyone, harangue me!”

Algernon stood there, gaping in the rain.
Said he, “I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again.”
“Lizzy, to me, yesterday, was nice as pie.”
“You think you she likes? No, it is I!”
At this point Issie resorted to fisticuffs,
Several good feints, amid other sham bluffs.
Then he followed this up with a “haymaker” punch.
Ever so clever, especially before lunch!
Algernon succumbed to a strong bloody nose.
Issie shouting, “Take that, and this, anything goes.”

At this momentous point, Lizzy arrived on the scene.
They did know where she was, but didn’t know where she’d been.
“What’s going on between the two of you?”
“Today my Soap Opera I must pursue.”
“You have interrupted the most interesting part.”
“Don’t either of you have any respect for art?”
“The Soapie has another hour to run,”
“So go down the street for your fisticuff fun!”

Quite taken aback, they thought they’d retire.
The road now was muddy, in fact a mire.
Algernon’s nose now resembled a lamp,
Usually found in front of a house of a “tramp”.
Bright red it was, with signs of swelling,
Plus tears in his eyes, rapidly welling.
Issie now felt a slight touch of guilt.
After all, he was more heavily built,
Than Algernon, who was frail and thin,
Seemingly to be bowled over like a bowling pin.

“I think we had better call it a draw,”
“Even though she’s the best “goil” I ever saw.”
“We made the classic error not to know,”
“That she was watching her Soap Opera show!”