BEASTLY TALES

COLLOQUIALISM

“Gordo” in Spanish can be a term of endearment,
A sobriquet a nickname, not at all queer meant.
The meaning in English is a little more stark,
Namely, Fatso, a word we’d do well to hark.
In English it conjures up gross over-eating,
A most deadly sin, well worthy of beating.
Gluttony, to be succinct and precise,
And we all do know that to be not very nice.
Fat people are often considered to be weak,
No will power, or won’t power, far too meek,
Greedy, with no self-discipline at all,
Always ready from the food “wagon” to fall.

El Gordito is the diminutive form,
Little Fatso, Oh, how very forlorn.
El Gordissimo, the superlative title,
The Big Fat Ape, too blubbery to be vital.
So next time you’re in a bar with Tapas and Sherry,
Eating, drinking, determined to be merry.
Spare a thought for those too fat, on a stool, to sit.
Los Gordissimos, confined to big chairs to fit.

Walk up to an Englishman, and “Hey Fatso” say,
You may well rue this, that very day.
“Whadya mean? You think I’m too fat?”
“Take this, and that and that!”
And, as punches do cover your face,
You’ll know that you have fallen from grace.

La Gorda is the feminine form,
Chubby ladies, unusual, not the norm.
Yes, English ladies like it even less than do men.
Say it repeatedly, again and again,
And you will reap the whirlwind, so to speak,
Being thus regarded as a bad-mannered freak!