BEASTLY TALES - FEUD FOR THOUGHT

in #art5 years ago (edited)

Welcome to Beastly Tales. Each has a message, a moral. All are meant to have an element of humour. Naturally, any names included do not depict real folk but are included as part of the joke.

All rights reserved.
(As with Beastly Banter Beastly Tales is written and illustrated by Richard Hersel.)

Thank you for your following.
Richard Hersel


BEASTLY TALES

FEUD FOR THOUGHT

Grandpappy Batfield got shot in the ass,
Yes, shot in the ass by a blunderbuss.
“The Malloys it was,” so said Leroy,
He was the Batfield’s older boy,
“I seen’em do it, with me own eyes,”
“And there they was, being nice as pies.”
So began the Batfield-Malloy feud,
Well known in Tennessee, yes, that brood.
Since 1864 Malloys shot at Batfields,
And vice-versa, neither side yields.

“We don’t want to make no fuss,”
“But they shot our Grandpappy with a blunderbuss.”
“Now, revenge, we gotta’ave,”
“So we blasts away, giving as good as they gave.”
And so it went on, just like a war,
‘Twas the strangest thing Tennessee ever saw.
The cemetery was divided into two,
A demarcation between them, nothing else would do.
The Batfields buried on side West,
The Malloys on the East, thought to be best.
As the numbers of their respective headstones grew,
There showed no ease in relations, not at all new.

Time did elapse, with no change in their views,
Then came, one day, astounding news,
Virgil Malloy wanted to wed Daisy Mae,
But Daisy Mae was a Batfield, what can we say?
Was it Romeo and Juliet all over again?
Singing from the same Hymn Sheet, but to a different refrain?
“Daisy Mae is a Batfield, through and true!”
“She’d never marry a Malloy like you!”
Now, Abner Batfield picked up his gun,
A Springfield Musket, not made for fun.
He determined, him, to warn right away,
From any affections he had for Daisy Mae!
Arriving at the house of the Malloys,
Abner had blood on his mind for those Malloy boys.
Batfield let off a volley of shots,
The front of the house peppered with bullet hole dots.
Windows broke, and wood went flying,
You could see that Abner was really trying.
A voice rang out from a window smashed,
Neither Batfield nor Malloy hopes being dashed.
“Batfield, were a’comin after you soon!”
“You’ll stew in your juice, you fat baboon!”
Now Abner had never been spoken to so crappy,
He went off now, to tell his dear Pappy.
“They was ever so nasty, to me, and all,”
“Their behaviour so rude, it did appal.”
By this time, Daisy Mae had met another,
Who said she reminded him of his dear mother.
And so, whilst the feud had not finished,
At least this part had somewhat diminished.

No greater resentment in U.S. history stirred,
No greater feud had ever occurred,
Then that between Republicans and Democrats,
Politically charged firing at each others hats,
So to speak, but it comes from the heart,
Therefore, when firing, that’s where they should start!

feud for thought.png

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Hahaha, this poem shows that stupid human behaviour hasn't changed much throughout history.

Grin

Your so very right on that. Thanks.

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