BEASTLY TALES

POLITICAL HACK

There he was, feeling deflated and dull,
Not too many good ideas penetrated his skull.
His friends did say, “Man, pull yourself together.”
“We’ve got to all cope, in any weather.”
“You’re a dismal sod, and that’s the truth,”
So said his good lady, whose name is Ruth.
Now, who is the subject matter of our discourse?
It was someone, whom Ruth had asked for a divorce.
None other than Warren Peace, that dilettante.
The son of his mother’s, daughters aunt.

Yes, Warren Peace, he loved the arts,
Particularly when subject matter was unclothed tarts.
He’d spend his day in an art gallery or two.
Other distractions, he failed to pursue.
“Why don’t you go out and get a job?”
“Here you are, a neer-do-well-slob!”
Warren Peace thought this a trifle harsh,
“I have a job, down at the sewerage marsh,”
“An important one, it is too,”
“Draining all that sewerage goo!”

That’s not a job for you, get it into your dome,
Especially when you bring your work home!
“But there’s no ablution facility at the plant,”
“I am what I am, and I aren’t what I aren’t!”
Confounded by such earthy philosophy,
Ruth shrugged her shoulders, and laid out his tea.
“I’m leaving you, I hope you know.”
“You’ve become a neer-do-well so and so!”
Warren Peace blanched at such a thought,
He was too young to be Ruthless, yes, nought.
“I really wish you’d reconsider, my dear,”
“Being alone, something I do truly fear.”
“Perhaps if I were to pursue my art career,”
“You might be of more good cheer?”
You’re no career in any art!
To paint a picture, you never start.
It’s best you clothe yourself in your best regalia,
To announce to all that you’re a failure!

“Perhaps I’ll do a correspondence course,”
“Get a qualification, that could change, for better not worse!”
Ruth, whose blossomy cheeks had turned to chalk,
Responded, while Warren Peace did gawk.
“What would be the subject of your study?”
“Would you major in fuddy duddy?”
I’m thinking that I may become a political figure,
And pursue politics with some vigour.
One never knows how one might fare,
Why, I might even become Lord Mayor!