BEASTLY TALES

THE LUMPF CHRONICLES (12)

Frau Lumpf said, “Der Mann mag Bier,”
Herr Lumpf agreed, “The man likes Beer,”
“I haf good news Herr Lumpf, at least I think,”
“Our friend Herr Klopper likes to drink,”
“Und he is coming to us for a visit,”
“Such a thought, for us, is exquisite!”
Herr Lumpf grunted and passed much wind.
“Nein, nein, this invitation ve must rescind!”
“Ve don’t vant Herr Klopper eating out food.”
“Drinking our beer, und he is so very rude!”
“Ve must say ve are goink avay.”
“Ve von’t be home for many a day!”
“But Herr Klopper vas Best Man at our vedding”
“Vhen he visits, hospitality ve shouldn’t be shedding!”
“Ve’ll get in extra sauerkraut und Vurst,”
“Und a barrel of Bier for his thirst,”
“Ve’ll haff such a nice time,”
“To reject his stay vould be a crime!”

The next day, a knock on the door from Herr Klopper,
He toted a suitcase, it was a whopper!
“Guten Morgen, Herr Klopper, a schon surprise.”
“My, but your suitcase is a very big size!”
“Vill you be stayink vith us a long vile?”
“Za thought of you stayink lonk makes me smile.”
Herr Klopper, “Guten Tag, Frau Lumpf,”
“My vife has given me much Bumf!”
“I’m so sorry, Frau Klopper has thrown me out!”
“My dear Frau Klopper has so, no doubt.”
“So ven I can return to my house?”
“I really don’t know! She called me a louse!”

Herr Lumpf now came to the front door,
He grunted, passed wind, “You look qvite poor!”
“You should now go down za street,”
“Und stay zere in zat Bed und Eat!”