BEASTLY TALES

THE MAGIC PUDDING

Fruit pudding, in a muslin bag,
Steamed to scalding by a hag?
No, not a hag, a lovely lady,
Just steaming puddings, nothing shady.
Served right up with custard runny,
Choke on a sixpence, now that is funny!
Yes, that old-fashioned custom, putting metal in pudding.
Nothing attractive, a habit to avoid while fooding.
But, otherwise boiled fruit puddings can be nice.
Festive fare, in a trice.
Of course, festive it does not have to be,
Have some anytime, for lunch or tea.

Dried fruit is quite good for one,
You can also have a nice fruit bun.
Or a fruit cake, rich and moist,
Eat a lot, and then do hoist,
A corpulent body up from a chair,
Do it slowly, so folk won’t stare.

Now Leroy Loggins was of fruit pudding fond.
Whenever possible, he would wave the wand.
To order fruit pudding, and then abscond.
People saw that, slowly, his appearance changed,
It seemed his head was being re-arranged.
His head took on a brown lumpy shape,
Noticeable enough to make some folk gape.
Apricot, cherries, plum and raisin.
It was so very extremely amazin?
There was Leroy’s head, wrapped in rag?
No, actually it was a muslin bag!
There were two plums, for the eyes.
Cherries gave the mouth a smile surprise.
The nose was comprised of dried pears.
The ears, apricots, dried in pairs.
The whole ensemble tied with a piece of string.
He looked to be a total ding-a-ling!

People began asking if he had change for the phone,
Assuming his pudding head had no bone.
And would be filled with coins of the realm.
In true pudding fashion, they would overwhelm.
Now Leroy went to seek medical advice.
He wanted to be told something nice.
That his condition wasn’t due to pudding addiction,
But a result of rays from a cosmic friction.
He thought of all the fruit that was dried.
He thought some more, and he nearly cried.
He had heard it said, “You are what you eat!”
And thus it was, due to his fruity treat!