BEASTLY TALES

THE PANZA FUHRER

Wolfgang Wurst collected war memorabilia,
He lived in Bavaria, Swiss-like, only hillier,
He’d run up a sizeable overdraft with his bank,
Buying materials to refurbish a tank!
When he saw his bank statement he furiously sucked his meerschaum pipe,
Sending up angry smoke signals to accentuate his gripe.
“Vot iss de matter with dis Banking jerk?”
While in his workshop he did aggressively lurk.
His tank had steel tracks, a large gun too.
It’s turret was built to swivel and slew.
A machine gun pointed it’s sinister snout,
As Wolfgang swivelled the turret about.

Wolfgang, enraged by his bank failing to heed,
His noble work, whilst succumbing to greed.
“Vot vill diss bank do to me next?”
“Zis manager is annoying, has made me vexed!”
Now, annoying Wolfgang, was not a good idea.
A veteran of the last war, he had no fear,
“Ziss manager vot I haff is not very nice,”
“He don’t know it, but he must pay the price.”
Then he momentarily forgot the bank,
And increased his work-pace, refurbishing the tank.

He went to the ruins of an old German city,
The spectacle there was not very pretty.
He rummaged around in the ruined rubble,
And soon found the live tank shells needed, in fact, double.
“Zese vill make dat pompous ass sqvirm,”
“He vill regret that overdraft interest, dat virm!”
And back to Bavaria he rode his motor bike,
Wearing a German helmet with a spike!

Wolfgang, at last, finished his tank.
He started the motor, with a hand crank.
The throaty roar brought a gleam to his eye.
He reversed up to where the gun shells did lie.
They were loaded aboard, and then he was off,
The tank crossing concrete barriers with throaty cough!
At last he came to that bank’s address,
He’d make the building into a real mess!
“Zis vill make dat manager clown,”
“So sorry zat he caused me a frown!”
He shot a shell into the spout,
Only one shot should have enough clout,
To bring the bank manager to his knees,
Perhaps he could fire a second one, as a bit of a tease.

“Boom!” went the big gun, the trajectory on target.
Survivors went running, but didn’t far get.
The bank’s frontage instantly disintegrated,
The dust hung in the air when the attack had abated.
The bank manager appeared, bald head covered in dust.
Said he to Wolfgang, “You must pay your interest you must!”
Wolfgang, astonished at this greedy banker lout,
Shoved another shell into the spout.
“Boom!” Went the gun for a second time,
Blowing the Bank to somewhere sublime!
Wolfgang puffed contentedly on his meerschaum pipe,
Happy that he’d been able to settle this gripe.

Now, we all know that banks are universally greedy,
Dishonestly behaving, and robbing the needy.
It has been proven so many times all over the world.
Each should take care that Wolfgang is not unfurled.