BEASTLY TALES - THE VIKING
Welcome to Beastly Tales. Each has a message, a moral. All are meant to have an element of humour. Naturally, any names included do not depict real folk but are included as part of the joke.
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(As with Beastly Banter Beastly Tales is written and illustrated by Richard Hersel.)
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Richard Hersel
BEASTLY TALES
THE VIKING
Olaf Erikson, his friend was one knut,
Knut Larson, that is, acquaintance yes, but
When embarking on a trip of rape and pillage,
Could never agree on just which village,
To covertly attack in the dead of night,
And give to the villagers a terrible fright
They’d go down right to the waters edge,
Pulling their large provisions sledge.
They would then load up their longboat,
Sometimes, in their haste, they’d load the wrong boat.
Then it was off to sea,
To England or Ireland, whichever it be,
Their arrival would not be to the local’s liking,
They would try to hastily leave by hiking.
As fast as they were able to go,
No matter if there was wind, rain and snow.
Hagar the Horrible was a viking bold,
His lifestyle ensured he’d never grow old.
But before he received his just deserts,
His battle history shows that with death he flirts.
Vikings sometimes used hallucinogenic drugs.
Magic mushrooms, which made them even worse thugs.
The Beserkers were this type of freak,
They would attack, not through stealth or sneak,
But rampaging, shrieking in a loud howl,
And, no doubt, using language quite foul.
Knut was a genuine viking nut.
He felt himself in a bit of a rut.
Pushing into water his long boat,
Until it was definitely afloat.
He called his crew, his fighting men,
They numbered just over ten,
Then with spear, sword and axe,
They set out on a journey to help them relax.
Raping, pillaging, setting things on fire,
These were things to which Knut did inspire.
If they could make others lives sad,
They could truly feel themselves very glad,
Until one fateful day, into a town they did stray.
Knut now felt that perhaps they had lost their way.
There was a very large army in that town,
That caused Knut the nut to frown.
It only took a moment or two,
Before Knut and his motley crew.
Were exterminated from this earth,
But, no problem, they were of no worth.
This should be the fate of all scoundrels and villains
Cleanse the earth of vile rapscallions.
hello Richard, as always, write us stories with a moral and with great spirit. your topic is very current you talk about extermination and violence going back.
Good for them, what goes around, comes around.
great and exciting poem
If only took a moment or two,
Before Knut and his motley crew.
Were exterminated from this earth,...
Evil last but a very short time.
I love that.."Cleanse the earth of vile rapscallions."
bravo.
bad kills bad,cleans the dirt. i always enjoy reading your poetry.
You are really the powerful poet of our time, I always find your poem interesting most especially the aesthetic of it that embedded in the poetic devices you always adopted. And the drawing matched the title well.
Thank you.
Another case of poetic justice. Literally! All the scoundrels and villains should exterminate eachother, a lot of problems would be solved.
nice one Richard! Saludos
Thanks.
reminded me of the cantebury tales for some reason, in a good way though! keep it up!
bastards and criminals must be removed because they are the destroyers of the world.because they are many victims. I love having friends like you.with good poetry, I love it. Thanks
Thank you.
Nice one.