30 Fake Business Blog Posts Someone Should Have Written Already

1. I Really Pushed it with Giving the Absolute Minimum Amount of Effort at My Job for the Last Six Months, and My Boss Rightfully Fired Me; What I Did Next Revived my Career
2. The Real Reason All Of the World’s Most Influential CEOs Drive Teslas That Have Vanity Plates With the Word “HUSTLE” On Them
3. 7 Alternatives to Making Small Talk with the Person in the Urinal Next to You
4. 12 Words You Can Insert into Any Sentence to Make it Sound Like You Know What You’re Talking About; The First One is “Utilize.”
5. Disrupt Your Daily Routine By Doing This One Simple Thing—It’s Called “Eating Three Bags of Cheetos at Your Desk Before 11am While Ignoring Every Email in Your Inbox”
6. My 80-Hour Work Week Destroyed Every Meaningful Human Relationship I’ve Ever Had in My Life But the Money Helps Me Numb My Denial
7. How to Deal With the Enduring Cognitive Dissonance of Wondering if You Picked Your Major Just Because it Was Easy or if it Was Something You Actually Wanted To Do, and Feeling Guilt for Not Challenging Yourself More in College, Yet You Don’t Even Have the Energy to Challenge Yourself Now So What Reason Do You Have to Believe You Ever Even Had it in You To Try Harder in the First Place
8. This Unsplash Photo of a Closed Macbook Pro on a Desk Inspired Me to Quit My Job — You’ll Want to Do the Same When You See It

9. How to Make Money on Medium Writing Articles About How to Make Money Writing Articles about Writing on Medium for Money

10. My Career Took Off Once I Started Doing This One Thing; It’s Called “Interrupting Anyone Who Isn’t a Naturally Assertive Personality During Every Meeting I Participate In”

11. 17 Side Hustle Ideas for When You Want to Work So Much you Don’t Even Recognize Your Kids’ Faces when You Get Home at Night

12. What To Do When You and Your Coworker’s Hands Both Reach For the Fridge Door at the Same Time and They Graze Each Other in a Creepy, Uncomfortable Way

13. I Read One Gary Vaynerchuk Article on LinkedIn and I Now Own Three Pairs of Yeezys and 60% of Snapchat, Out of My Way Evan Spiegel

14. Here’s The Real Reason You Didn’t Get That Promotion You Wanted — It’s Because You’re Bad At Your Job And Overshare on Customer Support Calls Instead of Just Sticking To The Scripts, Janet

15. How to Get Up the Courage to Ask for That Raise You and Pretty Much All of Your Coworkers Know You Don’t Deserve

16. 5 Swear Words That Can Really Make an Impression in a Job Interview if You Time it Just Right

17. The Pros and Cons of Crying at Your Desk

18. Here’s a Life Hack For That Moment When You Realize You Haven’t Actually Ever Had a Full Conversation With that Coworker Who Sits Three Desks Away From in the Eight Months You’ve Been at the Job, Even Though You’ve Made Long-Enough-To-Be-Consequential Eye Contact a Few Times, And Now You Want to Introduce Yourself, But Eight Months is an Embarrassingly Long of a Time To Wait For You to Just Go Over and Introduce Yourself Like It’s No Big Deal, But You Can’t Just Not Say Something and Pretend Like You Guys Are Best Friends Because That’s Also Awkward, So You’re Kind of In Between a Rock and A Hard Place, Bud.

19. All the Best Business Ideas Come at the Ping Pong Table

20. To Cold Call or Not to Cold Call: The Definitive Answer to an Ages-Old Argument (The Answer Is “It Depends”)

21. Are We Living to Work or Working to Live? Watch Me Have an Emotional Breakdown in Real Time

22. The Rise of the Wendy’s 4 For $4 in a Gig Economy: Are Bargains the New Excess?

23. Say Goodbye to Reverse Ageism: Here’s How Our Applebee’s Executive Team Increased Our Facebook Ad Impressions And Won the Favor of Generation Z By Hiring an Actual 13-Year-Old Boy to Run Our Global Social Media Strategy

24. Burnt Out? I Mean, You Could Always Consider Just Not Going Into Work That Day and Seeing What Happens¯\_(ツ)_/¯

25. 10 Things My First Job Taught Me About How Far Employers Get to Stretch the Credibility of the Phrase “Strong Company Culture” in Job Descriptions Without Any Accountability Whatsoever

26. I Punched a Sales Guy For Calling Me “Chief” and “Big Guy” One Time Too Many; What I Did After That Made My Career What it Is Today

27. 17 Ways to Politely Tell Your Coworker “I Have Headphones In, Why Do You Keep Trying to Talk to Me?” Without Saying Those Exact Words

28. I Deleted All My Social Media and Then Immediately Re-Downloaded Them Upon Getting Hit With the Most Minor Feelings of FOMO That Same Evening, Feelings any Normal Human Could Have Managed Maturely With Without Issue. Here’s Why I Didn’t Grow at All as a Human Being From This Pretty Uneventful Series of Events.

29. Oh Sh*t, I Just Realized My Microsoft Outlook Hasn’t Been Connected to the Server All Day and I Missed Some Very Important Emails

30. I Applied for 89 Jobs and Got Rejected 89 Times. On the 90th…I Got Rejected Again. I Still Don’t Have a Job. Someone Hold Me.