When problems simply spiral out of control

Day to day life is hard, and it becomes harder the older we get, the less we can depend on the old ones in our family. That's when we have a family and people to count on, of course; otherwise, they get easier the more we learn. It's a cycle of skill-damaging dependence until we adapt or die trying.

^{Image taken from Pixabay}

I've been learning my whole life how to deal with the great amount of problems that surround me. From the simple stuff to the complex stuff. How to get a job, how to pay taxes (I still don't do this, only VAT which is implied in every purchase). Now with Venezuela going into hell-mode difficulty, I often feel like finding the nearest bridge and jumping down from it.

But I can't, of course. I want to live. I just don't want to deal with the thousands of little issues that come up faster than I can solve them. In the end, I choose to sit down and wait. Since it's impossible to solve them all, I just don't. This brings even more problems from the sum of them, problems from the knowledge that I'm consciously ignoring problems. They derivate, they snowball, they become a hurricane of knives flying around me and I just sit down in the eye of the hurricane waiting for the second half to come and finally pierce me.

But I can't really say that I'm not solving problems. Our lives are made of problem-solving. Every second, every impulse that we have has a cause, a need that it's trying to solve. We eat to solve our hunger, we walk because we need to get somewhere. So at the same time that I'm ignoring the big problems, I'm solving the little ones in a distorted eternal carpe diem.

What happens now?

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Why is it so easy to give up? I don't want to give up, but at the same time, inertia drives me toward destruction with every pull it makes. Trying to fight against inertia feels like going against nature. How many times have I not felt hunger many hours after waking up? I know I have to eat, but it's so easy to simply stay there and read until afternoon comes; then I feel weak and remember that we need nutrients to keep going.

The call of the void shouldn't be this strong, but when thousands of little things make us feel like standing in the ruins of the Library of Alexandria and common sense calls us to rebuild it, how can we really hope to single-handedly solve it all? I just sit there and watch the last of the pillars fall, the last of the flames wane until all that's left is ashes, and when the wind comes, I will probably fade away with them, my soul scattering into oblivion.

It doesn't sound so bad to me, even though it's supposed to sound terrible. We should fear death and destruction, not learn to accept it and deliver ourselves to their doorstep with a smile on our faces. I know how to solve most of my problems and have all the resources except for the motivation. I just don't feel like moving anymore. The path is there but I just want to sit to the side and watch the leaves fall.

But I can't

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It's too easy to fall. The call of the void is very strong, but there's a little voice telling me that I'm a problem solver, that if I don't compromise, all that remains is defeat. Defeat, as if we were in a game, though I've always said that life is a game (and everyone else just takes it too seriously).

Can't we just lose on purpose sometimes? Though losing on purpose this time would lead to a much harder and unpleasurable game thereafter.

"Just start solving then..."

Yeah, I will!

Random fact of the day

The ability to devour cakes and chocolate without getting fat may not be as great as it sounds.

Scientists have shown that people with a fast metabolism don't live as long as those who burn up calories more slowly.

Source

Yeah actually just forget it, this article says I'm dying soon. Let's just eat cake. :D