Why I Stopped Writing
I write, not because I'm Imaginative or brilliant or Introverted or whatever.
I write because there is another version of myself that a lot of people don't know about.
There is this ME in me that is very quiet, muffled and unfit for society. Have you seen me dance before?
God! It's awful. I'm so bad at dancing that everyone at my boss's wedding stopped to look at me for a minute, then danced away just so they won't end up on camera with me. The second time I tried it, the Bridesmaid could not take it. She just kept screaming "What are you doing? What are you doing?!" She was looking at me like I was hurting myself. She couldn't take it.
But you should see me dance in my father's sandy compound... or the brown, ceramic, bathroom floors of Borno way, my God! I shake so well when I'm in the shower. And then there are hundreds of voices cheering and jeering in excitement. I make Kaffy look so bad when I dance in the bathroom.
I was so bad at singing, our choir mistress prayed I never come back to the church after I travelled to Edo State to write Neco. This happened in 2009. The funny thing is, I should have known. She never handed me the mic in the 7 months I was in Choir, not even during rehearsals. When I returned from Edo State, they already had my replacement In case her prayer wasn't answered. I kid you not!
But you should hear me sing when I'm up by 2 am at night. I sing so well once, I'd started crying in the middle of the song. The headphones will be really loud so I won't hear myself cry. But I could hear myself sing. It's almost angelic. Celine Dion got nothing on me.
Is It musical Instruments? Flute? Filled the damn thing with Saliva every time I blew it. Guitar? My neighbours started hiding theirs after the first time I played it.
Still, I play so well. I whistled once at my school gate, the Ice cream seller ran up to me and started asking If I wanted any Ice cream flavour. Any flavour at all.
But seriously, apart from all the obvious reasons, I write because I feel like you don't know who I truly am and It is through writing I can fully express myself.
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