Survivor's diary - chapter five. DnD and house keeping

Hi, guys!

This is my day five in survivor's diary, and today I tried to get out of home for some socializing. Actually I don't know if it counts, cause playing DnD with friends is a comfortable entertainment for me, so nothing challenging was in it. But I remember my visit to the doc, and she said "no violence or any compulsion to yourself, please". She said not to force myself doing anything, but look of how much forces do I have and only than think about activities, proportionate to these forces. 

Last weekend there was Comic Con in our city, and it wasn't an activity proportionate to my forces at all. I thought I will do great, but I didn't, actually we (me and my hubby)  spent there two hours (from two days) before I started fading. I could think only about that I can't breathe and I'm about to loose my conscious. So, we had to leave long before party ended. It was a pity, of course, but I felt a great relief when we came home and I hid in my bed.

Playing DnD was different. Not that much people, only six of us - players and the dungeon master. My mom went to the game with me, it was her first time playing and she spent a great time, so did I. Now this evening I have to increase doses of my medication for the last time (did it for last four days), and hope for better. Actually today in the morning I experienced something close to will to life, and it was a magical feeling. I hope I will wake up with the same feeling tomorrow, and have a little bit more forces to take care of house, hubby, my dog and myself. 

At the moment I ask my hubby for help a lot. Usually I do 99% of house keeping, I really enjoy it and don't need help, but at the moment situation is different. I simply can't afford to spent that small force that I have on cleaning, I need to do something that will increase my forces limit. So, to tell the truth I spend 90% of my time with Astro, my sweet angel and fluffy psychotherapist. 

 If you have a dog or a cat - please go give them a hug and a kiss to a nose from me:)

See you in the next post!

Love, Inber