I Suck At Confrontation. Me And The Buck Guy
I suck at confrontation. In fact, if there was some way to measure my suckiness at it I would come in at the bottom. With some kind of remark like, “you need to learn to vocalize yourself better.” I don’t know what it is or what happened to scare me off all the time. All I know is that when I am faced with a situation where an aggressive response is required, I just stand there.
I stand there gawking. Something happens and I just freeze. My heart starts raising and I end up regurgitating some kind of useless come back. Afterwards I think of all the things I should have said and want to kick myself for being such a verbally challenged individual.
Today I was confronted by a real jerk in the shops. I had forgotten to get the charcoal and figured that because it’s right around the corner I would run and get it quickly. As I came around the corner another shopper decided that seeing as I’m not with my trolley he can push in front of me. The other person in the queue hadn’t even finished having all her stuff rung up yet so it wasn’t like I would have missed my turn had I not been there.
I know I suck at these types of things but I didn’t feel like keeping quiet today. I proceeded to aggressively say, “Excuse me?” To which he replied, “you weren’t here.” To which I replied, “oh well fine, well done.” WHAT!!!! I could have asked for the manager. I could have proceeded to shove his stuff out of the way and put my stuff down. Hahaha Shopper Wars Reality TV here we come. I could have really insulted him and made a scene. I just stood there fuming, heart pounding and losing.
Looking back now I’m not sure why I got so upset. I suppose it just really annoys me when people are so inconsiderate. He had this ‘I’m an ass and I don’t follow the rules’ written all over him. Never trust a man with a Kudu (it’s a type of buck) embroidered on his shirt pocket. Shame, he couldn’t even afford the 0.65 cents for a packet and wasted more of my time trying to scoop up his groceries. The worst of it all was that he had his kids and wife with him. She came slinking in after the scene. Probably used to him pulling stunts like this.
I know I’m being judgey. I’m just upset and the world needs more kindness and not more selfish buck wearing shirt people. People who feel like they can just do what they want and intimidate people to justify their shoddy behavior. I felt so bad after the whole thing that I made sure I was extra courteous to everyone that crossed my path after that. Lead by example. Be the change you want to see in others behavior. We need to be nicer to each other and shoving people around is not the answer to a better tomorrow.
Thank you for reading and remember to keep smiling 😊
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I am so sorry for what you have encountered, @jusipassetti. BIG HUGS <3 I too am learning this confrontation thingy and I am believing in myself more and more to speak for myself. There are many times I wish I said the things that I thought of after too. You will get better at replying the jerks in a considerate manner too, when you answer a fool with his folly and yet not in the same manner of how he did it to you. I give a pat for you, for it becomes a positive feedback for you to be even better,more considerate, more aware than before. Not everyone sees it this way like you do <3
Thank you @happycrazycon, it was certainly not a pleasant experience. Glad to hear that you are also working at it and find yourself making progress. Like they say 'practice makes perfect'.
Same thing happened to me on Tuesday. Was in the shop, next person to go to the till and i remember i wanted a water (which is the fridge right behind me). I turn around to grab 1 water and in that time, the guy behind me pushes past to go to the till. The audacity.
I am also a bit of a pacifist though so i just let it go. Sometimes getting worked up only affects you... not the person it was intended for. Best to "woooosah!"
My goodness @gholsa that is really rude. I can completely relate to the fact that we're normally the ones that get upset and the other person just carries on with their lives. It still makes me cross though. Sometimes I just wish people would chose to rather be kind and considerate towards each other as opposed to being so self serving all the time. Imagine how great the world would be then.
Yes you sound like a white personality (Hartman colour code) and if so then it makes sense. I am the same, peace is my core motivation and I don't get the aggressive way of people and the respect they get as a 'leader'. It's frustrating and also how the world is unfortunately.
Good luck with the rest of the bucks out there.
Thank you @towjam for your support and understanding. There are so many but it's okay, shame for them is all that springs to mind.
I suppose so... Pity about the bodies they usually leave in their wake
Queue hopping will never allow me keep my mouth shut, I blurt out long before the person has time to even think it over @jusipassetti
Just one of those things in life that gets my hackles up before I think twice, not always a wise move, it is like a red rag to a bull....
It can get ugly pretty quickly @joanstewart. Looking back now it was quite a scene, would have been nice if someone had, had my back though. It's funny how whenever there's drama everyone looks the other way, like not seeing it will mean it didn't happen.
Sounds just like me, ever the peacemaker! But sometimes I will stand my ground to those kinds of rude people!
Being a peacemaker is always a better choice in most situations @lizelle. I just can't handle rude people, it's like they are that way because they always get away with it.
I think you're right there!
I don't know why people derive joy in shoving people around. Am glad you that even if you got upset, you succeeded in ignoring him though. If you got more aggressive, you might end up hurting yourself. You know what they say "the best answer for a fool is silence".
It's actually sad really @kweenbrand. Sometimes I wonder if they're like that because they can't get anything right in their own lives so take it out on other people.
@jusipassetti cute baby.
Thank you, it's not my own though. Got the photo from pexels.com.