Impatience - choosing between the Infinity Gauntlet or the Pursuit of Happiness?
I have had days when I concur with Thanos. Well in my reasoning of building a brand new world that is. One that is filled with kindness, or one that is filled with intelligence, or one that is filled with efficiency. It really depends on how the day goes.
No, wait that's a lie.
The truth is, it all actually depends on how healthy my mental and emotional state is.
We take it that we are all in excellent mental, physical and emotional health, until there comes a time when we are lost in grief, or have serious stress and anxiety attacks, completely lose our cool, or wonder why you just can't have a normal day.
Growing up, I was impatient with sadness, anger or any form of emotional disruption. If I wasn't happy, then there was something wrong, and I needed to find a solution.
It was a narrow way of looking at emotional health, but it motivated me to find solutions so that I could go back to being happy. It meant I would spend hours pouring into my mind or the mind of others (as it turned out, I was a walking aunt agony) to figure out why something was happening and how to feel better better again.
You see we are all hardwired in the brain to look for pleasure. We are good at finding creative ways to feed that sensation through games, social media, food, alcohol, sex, drugs etc. Whatever it takes.
What we fail to do however, is to really get to the root of the unhappiness. Or as I would like to reframe it, when we have gone emotionally under the weather.
We take vitamins and drink plenty of fluids when we catch a cold. But what do we do to help ourselves when we're emotionally under the weather?
We exercise our body to stay healthy, what about emotional health, or mental health for that matter? What are we doing to keep that going everyday?
We have some 70,000 thoughts a day. How many are healthy? How many positive? How many judgemental? What about those rather deep emotional wounds and strongly rooted beliefs and conditioning. How often do we take time to look at those? Or how these old patterns follow us throughout the day shaping our thoughts.
Do we care what the stats are on the type of thoughts, or bother parse through them?
In a yoga class , we remind practitioners the positive mental, physical and emotional state, because it is a singular practice that addresses all three aspects of our well-being. Done with the appropriate guidance and equally dedicated practitioner - it has a huge impact on oneself.
Not too long ago, I found myself in the pits! The state of our world (as seen through my eyes) had me really upset. I used to lose sleep over how our planet was being handled, but now to have a generation of parents and children who are abnormal was disconcerting to say the least.
I was dealing with a concentrated group of an aberrant population of children in a school that had me pulling my hair out. It was by no means a special needs school, but some of the children were genuinely there (which some parents unfortunately could not / would not recognise) and other's were just terribly brought up - causing major disruptions to the whole workshop - more so than the children who truly needed the special attention.
It irked me to no end watching guilt-tripped parenting, "wanting-to-be-the-good-parent" parenting, absent parenting and "my-child-rules-the-world" parenting cripple children mentally and emotionally. How will they grow up as adults when they can not self regulate their emotions, hold on to a thought for a second or give more than 2 minutes of attention to anything. (A topic I shall revisit another day)
Had I had an infinity gauntlet at hand....I would have made some serious changes to the demographic and population on this planet. The ignorance of a generation driven by social media status, a healthy bank balance, and staying educated and up to date with the latest gadget was going to take us all to hell in a handbasket.
My mental and emotional state was stuck in one frame of thought, unable to allow other possibilities or realities in.
Just a week ago however, despite the then kleptocratic government, I was hopeful for our general election as voters came out in droves. I saw beauty and hope everywhere. The atmosphere different.
Was the situation better? No it was the shittiest ever! The most despicable actions were taking place. But my mind and emotions were "healthy". The outcome, well I think the news media buzzing with news of history being made says it all.
I was, and am the same person in both situations, but the difference was my mental and emotional health - and subsequent happiness rating.
We take this upkeep of our internal states for granted. But without which our entire day changes - our productivity, social interaction , community engagement, personal relationships, public image, most importantly our happiness.
Here's a few ways I do my inner work to nurse my mental and emotional health:
\1. Meditate
Meditation comes in many forms. Sitting meditation focused on a particular object or thought, sitting meditation in an observational state, yoga and other slow movement focused on the breath, mind and movement, and finally Pranayama - or breathing techniques. Though Pranayama deserves a whole mention of it's own, I am putting it together in a larger notion of meditation to keep it simple.
As someone who has the attention span of a flea, I don't do well to sit for long hours. My meditation happens when I drive, shower, cook, do yoga, breathe or watch a movie/show. Even walking or running helps. The idea is to become aware of our thoughts and emotions and simply observing it, OR my personal favourite is to do some positive or active daydreaming to keep a creative state of mind. There may be temptation to get sucked into certain unproductive thought patterns...at which point I simply disengage and find something more physically demanding to cut off the downward spiral.
\2. Write / Reflect / Journal
Reflecting on our thoughts, journaling or just free writing helps get the sticky thoughts and emotions out on paper. Once out, it's visible and open to be pondered upon. Almost all of us hate being told, but we are very happy when we discover or gain our own insight. Better yet when we find an Aha moment. So why not engage in more such activities. Though, sometimes I can get stuck here... mostly in finding solutions, and it feels great when I ask for help because in asking for help I know there is an active step towards change and betterment.
\3. Pray
When shit hits the proverbial fan, sometimes a hail Mary is what is needed. There are days I just feel so damn stuck that all I need, and can do is to surrender and pray. Either in a conversation or physical activity of chanting a manthra or going to a place of worship - I'm not religious, for me anywhere sanctity of the divine is upheld, is a place of worship.
The thing is, the mental and emotional healthcare for me is an active and important part of life, one which I attribute to my impatience towards unhappiness. In this instance however, my impatience has served me well, and kept the infinity gauntlet at bay.
What are some ways in which you keep your mental and emotional health optimum?
Previous Posts of Interest:
On life:
Courage in Vulnerability - Walking the Walk not just Talking the Talk
Have You Listened to Your Gut Today
The Imposter Syndrome, an Unfortunate Chemistry Class and the Road to Recovery
Why Motivational Quotes are Driving Me Nuts
Benefits of Being a Student for Life
On yoga, creativity and leadership:
How to Relieve Writer's Block using Backbends and Downward Facing Dogs!
Yoga and Leadership Series: #2 Yogini to an Entrepreneur - an Insight to Yoga and Spirituality
Yoga and Leadership Series: #1 Introduction - A Brief History of Yoga
Poetry / Haiku
If Truly I had Eyes that See
Is Leadership an Outward Reflection OR an Inward Journey?
MY Ikigai:
What I LOVE: Writing about life, expressing ideas, poetry, haiku, short stories and motivational quips. Practicing yoga and internal reflections, walks in nature, compassionate acts towards nature, animals and humanity.
What I OFFER the world: Innovative solution to Self-Expression and Creativity. With a passion for Creativity, Innovation, Integrity and Authenticity in thoughts, words, and deeds.
What I am/can be PAID FOR: Writing, teaching yoga, books (in the making), training, facilitating. And hopefully to sit and spin out creative ideas/solutions at whim!
What I'm GOOD at: Hypnotising my Yoga students apparently! Writing from the heart, being a hopeless romantic, passionate utopian, innovator and creator of all things fun and uplifting.
The IKIGAI - SoulArist
- To find out more, please visit our webpage
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Upcoming Posts:
Blogs and podcasts on meditation/awareness practices
Yoga and Leadership Series
I was going to use the website to publish these materials, however, with the discovery of Steemit, I will be redirecting the flow of these posts to start here at Steemit and then to the website. I am new to this whole program, so please bear with me as I find my footing on this platform, with the help of all my fellow steemians here no doubt ;)
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Yes.
Great tips. Thank god the Gauntlet doesn't really exist or we might just find half the population gone!
Sadly, some people are just not meant to be parents and should never attempt to be. At least that's what my wife and I think.
Although mental health issues and the methods of how to deal with it have gotten a lot of attention and awareness in the last decade, I think people still look at it as having a weakness and are ashamed of it.
I really appreciate the tips you have laid out in your post. I'm sure they are effective as long as people do their part and put in the effort to actually apply them in life. I, myself, am quite guilty of consuming information for the sake of "learning" and not really putting it in practice when shit hits the fan.
You nailed the key point....practicing. I know what you mean....there are days when I procrastinate too. I think my saving grace is my impatience and having a mind that will not leave me alone otherwise.
And yes, not everyone is equipped to be parents, some learn along the way, but I think most struggle all the way trough. I don't understand why parenting, mental & emotional health are not part of our curriculum. Sure there is no one way....but at least being aware of the road bumps, challenges and the solutions would help.
The world needs to relook the life skills syllabus.
Hahaha, yes very glad the gauntlet isn't real indeed.
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