Boundaries....
So much comes back to boundaries, and one of the most important aspects of boundaries is just giving ourselves permission to create them, even if it disappoints someone else.
Growing up, many of us weren’t taught about boundaries. Even more challenging is when we’re taught we aren’t allowed to have them. So many humans walk around with the belief that they have to be everything to everyone, that putting their own needs first is selfish, that they’re bad if they don’t show up every time, or that listening to their own beliefs and values is unloyal (see my previous post about how you don’t have to be loyal to people who treat you like shit).
Here’s the truth:
Trying to be everything to everyone leads to resentment, being taken advantage of, feeling exhausted, getting stretched too thin, and living from obligation instead of motivation.
Some questions to ask yourself as you explore your own boundaries and what they might look like right now:
Where am I holding resentment, and what might it be about? Would setting more clear boundaries support me in letting some of it go?
How am I being taken advantage of, whether emotionally, energetically, or even timewise, and what would need to shift to take care of myself?
Is my exhaustion related to not setting boundaries for myself at all? If so, how can I hold space for that?
Am I feeling stretched thin because it’s hard to say no or because I feel like I have to do everything I’m doing at the expense of my own well-being?
Am I showing up out of obligation or out of motivation and willingness? If I’m feeling obligated more than not, how might I give myself permission to choose differently?
There’s no easy answer with boundaries. It doesn’t come naturally for many of us. It tests our people-pleasing tendencies, our need to be liked, or our desire to be perceived as “good” (which makes us forget that those things don’t come from anywhere outside of ourselves).
Be gentle with yourself as you explore your owHappy Thursday, my friends.