The myth of positivity....
There is a myth that positivity is strength.
While it certainly can be, I don’t think positivity should be a prerequisite for how strong or resilient you are.
Oftentimes, people who have encountered the worst of this world (racism, poverty, trauma, violence, hate, et cetera) are told to be positive – to take their experiences and turn them into gifts, lessons, or hope.
I want to remind you:
• You don’t have to think positively about what has happened to you.
• You don’t have to think positively about the realities you face.
• You don’t have to think positively about the trauma you have endured.
• You don’t have to think positively about the pain you are feeling.
• You don’t have to think positively about injustice and inequity.
• You don’t have to think positively about those who have harmed you.
• You don’t have to think positively about anything you don’t feel positively about.
Forcing positivity is bypassing human truth. Forcing positivity is putting it on a pedestal. Forcing positivity is forgoing holding space for reality.
True strength, to me, is holding space for ALL parts of you. It’s holding space for the positive parts AND the hard parts. It’s letting yourself feel the beauty AND the hurt. It’s acknowledging the hope AND the hardship. It’s letting it all exist. That is strength.
The next time someone tells you to “be positive”, I invite you to say, “Actually, I’m just going to be me right now.” Because you right now is valid, without needing to put a silver lining on it for the comfort of others. You don't have to be positive all the time. You just have to be you.