The Weird Side of Youtube

Whether it's turning on your favorite Rhianna music video or learning how to tie a bow tie with one hand from a tutorial (conveniently freeing up your other hand to play rock paper scissors or something), Youtube has now become an indispensable resource for many of us who use to waste our time not watching a clip of a cat riding a Roomba. Yet despite how large the site is today, you may be reassured to know that wherever you are, you're never more than three clicks away from the weird side of Youtube. You're in luck though, because I'm here to save you two of those clicks.

But first I wish to clarify that by weird I don't mean your ordinary perverted, eccentric or socially awkward type of weird; there's your Japanese school girl/Tim Burton/Napoleon Dynamite weirdness, and then there's this:

Girl with err...a gift

My guess is she's more fluent in Parseltongue than Harry Potter and Voldemort combined. This is probably the only freakish gift for which there exists no real life practical utility at all: even the three breasted woman from Total Recall could at least conceivably have triplets. If only she were a frog she could possibly catch two flies at once. I don't know if this condition is common enough to warrant a name but I suppose the Steemit community would refer to it as a soft fork.

Of course now that I'm taking you on a tour down this rabbit hole we should also talk about this:

Pimple Popping Craze!

You may be surprised to learn that there is an entire encyclopedia of this genre of videos on Youtube and they all do exceptionally well in terms of views. It speaks to our more masochistic side: we all feel a stomach churning sense of disgust yet cannot look away. It's the same morbid curiosity experienced when we witness a car crash or John Travolta's face. After a while, staring at the stream of maggoty gunk oozing out of those gaping pores becomes sort of mesmerizing. Just goes to show the fun doesn't have to end when you run out of bubble wrap if you have an acne problem.

Now I have something a little more mainstream, just some unboxing videos:

Unboxing Videos of....??

Now I never understood the appeal of unboxing videos: they make me feel like a child looking through the window of my neighbor's house on Christmas morning and seeing their happy family joyfully unwrapping their expensive presents. Then one day I was pleasantly surprised to have these self loathing thoughts interrupted by a turtle unboxing video I had stumbled upon. Apparently you can order turtles online and have them delivered via mail like a magazine subscription or anthrax. In fact, a number of websites specialize in this service: Turtle Shack, for instance, boasts being the 'premiere source for all things turtles and tortoises', which if true, puts them proudly at the pinnacle of what could only be a cutthroat online turtle retailing industry.

I eagerly watch these video to see what type of turtle would be unveiled. They are oddly suspenseful yet calming, like the first 20 minutes of a Jurassic Park movie when all the visitors are still oohing and ahhing despite knowing perfectly well that every other instance of the park opening had ended up in a slaughter. This has inspired me to start my own series of unboxing videos beginning with the mail order bride which should be arriving early next week. I hope they remembered to punch a few holes in the container for air flow or I'd have to return the product for being DOA.

Have you ever found yourself on the weird side of Youtube? What did you discover? Let me know

Oh, almost forgot:

Videos are not my creations, links are embedded within the video

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