Random stuff on my mind these days (blog)
I took a 2 day break from any intensive steemit/discord activity and it was a good call. I was starting to tire myself out again and now I feel a lot more energy. This is what's been going on with me:
No pressure
I want my work to be fun. If it's not fun, I take a break. A while ago I called for #steemitzombies. Then I called for #nobidbots. Then #nobidbots took off. Then I created an overarching chat/Initiative called Steemit Community Catalyst for the purpose of pooling resources and bringing people together to solve problems. It was all moving so fast. I was kind of guided to start a curation group around the idea by others ideas about the tag. It started to feel like a lot of pressure even though I knew I could get it done. I realized, though, that putting too much energy into this initiative wasn't exciting for me.
I want to see it grows naturally and don't want it to take much time out of my other work here. The curation group will probably happen but I'm not going to push myself to make it happen ASAP. Helping others get recognition for their work and ideas is something I love but not as much as I love writing and playing music and building a strong community (especially though discord). And sometimes I need a break from the screen. So I want to focus on those things first and foremost and whatever extra time/energy I have will go into building a separate account/curation project/etc. I'll write up my plan for this in the coming days.
I'm looking for a new rhythm that accounts for the fact that I am finally getting some of the attention here that I've worked for. I get mentioned a lot these days and get a lot of comments. I have a habit of checking comments on my posts but sometimes I miss the replies to my comments on others posts so I'm trying to manage my time and adjust my posting behavior as to not over-post. I also want to read others work sometimes but the more projects I work on the less I have energy for it. I hope to catch up on your work soon. I'm making plans to hand over some initiatives to others once they are up and running and have stronger communities built around them, more on that in the future Community Catalyst post.
Kaizen-ing
I've been pretty good about working on the things I've been meaning to work on. I've got myself practicing the skills on guitar that I meant to practice including barre chords, memorizing the notes down the neck on the E and A strings, playing with triads and barre chords into scales. I've also spent 20 minutes a day (sometimes 2x) on a Japanese textbook with the purpose of reviewing my Japanese so I don't forget it and for finally getting to a point where I can listen as well as I read/speak.
To Pineapple or not to pineapple
Two nights ago, I resolved to show my face on steemit. The motivation was a kind of self-liberation from fear. I have fears that my political opinions will be used against me, or that if I end up very successful in crypto that my success will be used against me. I fear what the bots and algorithms know about me, and no I don't have anything I need to hide, I just don't like being analyzed by corporations or other organizations. I have a fear of not having time for others (this is already starting to manifest) and not being able to give them the same level of support that they give me. I have a fear of being put on a pedestal, people following me blindly or on the other end of the stick, making problems for me because they disagree. I've worked these fears out to a large degree, but showing myself on steemit feels like a big middle finger to fear, or perhaps a hug.
Somehow though, and this is the third time I've planned on showing myself, every time I get ready to take off the pineapple, I get really excited about it at 2 AM and resolve to make a post in the morning. Then the morning comes and I feel pretty "meh" about it. I want to make sure that if I show myself it's for the right reasons and I'm excited about it. I don't want it to be for the extra payout or attention or cred I may get. I want it to be about self-liberation. But part of me is still not sure if this is self liberation or caving in and conforming to new norms. We will see how I feel about it in the coming days.
Hungry for crypto
I messed up and lost 2/3 of my EOS thinking Neo would jump quickly. Neo will certainly jump but I've reinvested that extra Neo into Elastos and Ontology now which I don't plan on selling, so I need to come up with a new plan to get my EOS back. I'm also thinking more about diversification again since I've still got a nice couple of Neo, and if there isn't a great rate for SBD to EOS I might as well diversify. I want to put $100 into 10-20 new coins next. Then whenever anything makes profit I'll put the profit into the coins I believe in most (Substratum, Power Ledger, etc.) or my top bets for platforms (EOS, Neo) The top of my shopping list looks something like this:
Power Ledger (a coin I love the use case for, clean energy all the way)
WePower (same as above)
Ripple (not cause I like it, just in case the banks decide to pump it 100x)
Stellar (same reason)
TenX (if they ever end up solidifying the right deal or partnership they will 5x overnight, and I hope they do)
Monaco (same as above)
Origin Trail (undervalued supply chain sounds like a good buy)
Zebi (So much hype + use case)
Ravencoin (same as above)
Dash (Cause I sold all mine)
The future of steemit and my place at steemit
I've been reflecting a lot on this. I don't know how I feel about the future of this place. I don't like the direction it is going, but I do feel the collection of great minds and hearts here is not something I want to turn away from so I am sticking it out and doing everything I can to improve the ecosystem as someone who started with absolutely nothing to my name. I think I've done an OK job, but I'm still trying to make a bigger impact and pay it back and pay it forward and pay it every which way, and enjoy some personal benefits for my work. I still don't have any work-work and my steemit income isn't enough to survive as of yet. I have about 6 weeks. After that if something doesn't change I'm going to have to look for some work-work and possibly spend a little less time/energy on the blockchain. I don't plan on it, but I need to keep in mind where I'm at. I will do everything in my power to make sure something gives and the abundance starts rolling in!
I am still healing
My body is getting better every week but I still need to give myself time to rest, which I'm already pretty good at. I have lots of plans for events and tours and recording, but I need to allow myself to heal before any of that. So that's why I've set aside the next 6 weeks for self-improvement and creation, initiatives, brainstorming, healing and connection.
That's what I'm up to. How are you?
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Confessions of the Damaged - a collection of short stories
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by @skyleap
a like the Pineapple head. and a love the first picture instead of show your face do a Pineapple trip lol. over time we haw some very knew people not shows there faces. u are the next Stig from top gear. :)
'but am am curious to. on crypto am just have a ice cube in my hand 24/7
ist going to be ok a think we just ned to hold on. :)
My pineapple journey. Haha
It's good to hear you managing your energy and keeping track of what is and isn't fun for you.
With regard showing your face . . . why not just change you avatar when you feel drawn to do it? No need for a big announcement in a blog post. No need to make it into a big deal even if it feels that way to you. Don't give the story energy. 😍
💙 💛 💜 💚
It's a big fucking deal! hahahaha
I want to give it all the story in the world if I come out, I want to say this is me and im not scared of anything!!!!!!! Or I want to remain a pineapple and say that is my goddamn right to be a pineapple!
Ha, ha, ha! Love it @whatamidoing! 😂 💙
It aint worth it if it aint fun!
Sounds like its a good idea to take a break. I certainly need a digital detox. I think you are passionate about what you do...that's pretty cool. Keep up the good fight.
Always need an occasional detox...that’s really what it feels like. I think I’m gonna cram in another two or three hours of steeming to catch up on all the comments I haven’t seen and everyone sposts and then take a short detox tonight.
It is good to take a step back sometimes and just catch your breath. The last couple of weekends I have not posted or been on much and it has been a good break. Also good to hear you are seeing some positive growth on Steemit. I am still learning the ropes, but I am finding my way. EOS is where it is at. I am hodling for the win(and the airdrops)!
I haven’t gotten any airdrops yet, you needed 100 for the dac and 25 for the recent one and I’m in an exodus wallet. Once I have some more eos I’ll move it somewhere. Working on it!
Right now it has dipped enough that I think a lot of people are picking up more. I got the DAC airdrop but haven't seen anything from the Evolution. One yet. My Ether Wallet has worked well for me. Get your tomens registered if you havent yet. You only have to do it once even if you buy more.
The problems that have plagued societies stem from not enough willing to be leaders and show others what they would have for all. A pedestal is needed for others to see above the crowd that there are others who would be their brother/sister.
Thank you. I am seeing more of those whom I look up to in my short time as leaders being discouraged and thinking of leaving. I am thankful that you are choosing to stay and sorry it has not grown as fast as you need. Please try to hold onto the idea that those of us coming behind you that share the same heart are growing slowly and the dividends you will reap later from those of us who are thankful will come. They will.
if others want to treat me as a leader, ain’t nothing I can do about that but say I’m just like you. But I’m not going to see anyone as above or below me.
It’s easy to focus on the negative and sometimes there is a lot of it. But there is so much good here as well and if you focus on thst only, this place rocks!