How To Stop Bullying
After the incident in this video(https://bit.ly/2FuPzkv) went viral in my home country, I wanted to take a deeper look at "bullying". I am no stranger to bullying and probably so is everyone on this community. In fact, I was brought up with the fact that it was part of life, part of "growing up". We kids had to just endure it and live with it as this goes away as we hit adulthood (or puberty).
What is bullying though? Was I a perpetrator of bullying even without realizing it? After all, we are all arranged in a natural pecking order or perceived strength. The strongest at the top rules the perceived weaker and down the totem pole. This is how I perceived bullying, an imbalance of power. The strongest ones tend to get a posse around them or slightly weaker folks, and this adds to their strength. Their bonds between them might not be as strong as a real friendship but it is there.
This also means that bullies tend to start out being aggressive with anyone, but then realize that its much easier to pick on specific individuals who fit certain criteria. They pick will tend to pick on those who are not inclined to be assertive or defend themselves.
Back to the video I referred to earlier, it was clear the person being beaten up was larger than the bully. He was kicked and slapped like a big girl and he had a bloody nose to show for it. This brings up my 2 main points on how to stop bullying.
- Teach you kids (yes both daughters and sons), there there is a naturally evolving power structure in any organization. Depending on where you place, there will be people weaker than they are. Equally important, that they learn how to use that power for good, defend the weaker, and unite their friends. Interestingly enough, in the video, the people in the bathroom had the wherewithal to record a video but not help out defending against the smaller bully.
- Learn to wrestle. Yup, that's right. Even against bigger and heavier opponents this should be able to work. Why is this the preferred fighting method? Well, most bullies will fight the traditional way, with them throwing punches using their superior reach (and height). However, as anyone who has been in a bar fight or fraternity rumble knows, fights rarely assume the form of a WBC match and all of them devolve in a wrestling match. Manny Pacquiao, on the best boxers on the planet, actually only lands about 20%-25% of his punches thrown. That stat was quite surprising given the controlled environment of a boxing ring. If your child knows how to duck the punches and lock th bully, this may delay the fight long enough until an adult comes a long and (hopefully) ends the scuffle.
As for intellectual and cyber-bullying, we that's another story.