Defining the fempat

Image souce: en.yibada.com

In my last article, I discussed sexpats. These are the arch enemy of the fempat. In the interests of equality, I will discuss them too.

Fempats. They’re a strange bunch indeed. Yet the word ‘fempat’ is merely another slang term that usually only exists in the minds of expats. Does it refer to an expat that happens to be female? Or is it a portmanteau of ‘feminist’ and ‘expat?’ The spouse of an expatriate manager?

Some believe that although he is not the creator of the term, Tom Carter’s attempt at defining them as “those angry, lonely, single female expats in China who are overlooked by western males seeking Chinese girlfriends” (Taylor, 2013). Although harsh and not exclusive to China, this may be the most accurate explanation of them all for the most common usage of the term.

The clear majority of foreigners coming to work in China are male. There are many possible explanations for this trend such as the expat lifestyle and Chinese living environment not being all conducive to Western women settling down and bringing up children as a mother; or simply that men tend to be more adventurous and willing to explore during their youth. Neither of those two attempted explanations can be accepted as being totally true, but the fact remains that when we consider the viewpoint of an expatriate, it is usually from a masculine perspective. The challenges faced specifically by female expatriates are often overlooked.

To simply write off all foreign women coming to China as fempats would be excessively simplistic. There’s much more to it for one to consider. It must not be automatically assumed that they are all ugly unfuckable lard-arses, with stupid coloured hair and an attitude problem; although mocking such women is a never-ending source of entertainment for many male expats such as myself. The reality is a serious matter that we should consider in further depth.

Arriving in China is for everybody, a life changing experience. One’s identity and place in the world is affected upon being displaced from their home environment and it often affects female expatriates in a different way to men. While all foreigners in China may commonly be viewed by locals as being open, fun-loving and adventurous, these attributes may be viewed more positively when judging men than when judging women.

What’s more, as traditional gender roles are increasingly being destroyed in the West and women are encouraged to reject masculinity to appear strong, powerful and independent; Western women may often find themselves brought crashing back down to earth in a cultural environment where femininity is still valued. Although women can still rise to senior management positions in China; if not even more easily than in the West, their locally specific version of feminism values real femininity. Chinese women still primarily dream of being good mothers and housewives; gender roles are considered different yet equal. For Western men, this can represent a refreshing change, for their masculinity is no longer described as ‘toxic’ like it commonly done so in the West these days.

Western men in China are not forced to accept the continuing destruction of their masculinity by various cultural forces like they would in their home country and are able to enjoy life in a way that some fempats probably wished they couldn’t. It is the turning of the tables, the levelling of the playing field that angers some. It turns losers into winners and it is probably this that angers some fempats much more than the fact that they themselves are now finding it much harder to get laid than before. They no longer get to make the rules and they are forced to play game under what would appear to be a new and fairer set of rules.

Not only does the resulting frustration create bitterness; some fempats that usually love to express left-wing solidarity for every group of supposedly oppressed people imaginable will soon themselves become the most racist people that one could ever find. In a desperate attempt to maintain self-pride, they will accuse Western men that date local women of not being good enough to date Western (and usually white) women (Stanley, 2013, pg.173). Their previously hidden sense of racial supremacy will now reveal its ugly face as they develop an intense hatred towards Chinese women while themselves often refusing to make any effort whatsoever to date Chinese men or at least, accept them for who they really are. Some jealous fempats may find themselves solely socialising at expat dominated bars or restaurants to avoid the sight of foreign men flirting with Chinese women (Farrer, 2011, pg.760).

Other, more tolerable fempats may struggle to accept that they are effectively degendered amongst expats in China. Foreign women may often thrive upon attention from the opposite sex to provide them with a sense of validation; they will likely find that they will receive it in much lower measures in China (Lehmann, 2014, pg.123). Their relative lack of femininity may cause them to subconsciously blend into masculine expat social circles both at the office and at the bar (Stanley, 2013, pg.182); outbursts of typical fempat behaviour either against local women or foreign men may suddenly occur as a last-ditch attempt to reject such forced gender neutrality (Neo the Nomad, 2018).

Therefore, one cannot be sure if angry, bitter fempat behaviour is a desperate attempt to cling onto the newly privileged status that radical feminism had granted them in the West, or if it is perhaps an instinctive survival response to take back the femininity that they had until now never realised had been stolen from them when growing up in the Western world.
Either way, many of us are going to enjoy making jokes about them for years to come.

References:

Farrer (2011) Global Nightscapes in Shanghai as Ethnosexual Contact Zones, Journal of Ethnic and Migration Studies, 37:5, 747-764, DOI: 10.1080/1369183X.2011.559716

Lehmann, A. (2014) Transnational Lives in China - Expatriates in a Globalizing City. Palgrave Macmillan UK

Neo The Nomad. (2018). The 8 Types of Expats You WILL Meet in Southeast Asia - Neo The Nomad. [online] Available at: https://neothenomad.com/expat-types

Stanley, P. (2013). A critical ethnography of 'Westerners' teaching English in China: Shanghaied in Shanghai. EBL. Milton Park, Abingdon, Oxon, Routledge.

Taylor, A. (2018). Here's What Those Notorious Expats Are Really Doing In China. [online] Business Insider. Available at: https://www.businessinsider.com/unsavory-elements-by-tom-carter-2013-8