Fare Thee Well Logan

RIP to a rescue kitty that didn't make it. Experience has taught me to not get emotionally involved but I've never succeeded.

Even though his was just a tiny short lived life the pain is by comparison anything but small or insignificant.
This never gets easier and never fails to bring on a flood of other goodbyes and burials, and not just of pets.

The post grieving part of me will find peace in knowing this little abandoned baby at least had a few weeks of mom and dad loving him, nursing him, cleaning him and otherwise doing the best we could to give him some quality of life. I'm likely to blame for this though as to protect our 18 month old successfully rescued cat I kept this baby quarantined in a carrier out on our terrace. I had my reasons for this which now all seem absurdly stupid. Presently the facts that I'm well acquainted with all this offers no solace.

We aren't sure but it seems a monitor lizard or kingfisher etc. was able to bite his hind legs. Before I was even aware the wound had become necrotic. I'm not really squeamish but this image is seared into my mind. As soon as it was possible I took him to a vet and she scraped away to the bone trying to remove all of the dead tissue. I knew as soon as i saw the wound this otherwise healthy rescue was doomed. After this medieval field surgery his condition rapidly declined to the point where we knew it was time yet again to have "the talk" with your loved one.

The talk sucks! What it is, is this, telling this life that is fighting for survival that it's OK to let go and stop resisting this process we all will face. This is not at all the first time that a pet has passed in my hands after giving this permission if you will to move on. Dogs in my experience are especially stubborn when it comes to clocking out of the only job they ever knew to protect their human. I prefer to have this talk as opposed to permitting a passing on a cold Stainless Steel table under bright lights from an injection.

I imagine this seems trivial or silly to those that have or are currently grieving the loss of a friend or family member. For me it's also perplexing as I'm no stranger to the passing of loved humans either from what we label as natural causes or even in tragedy. It is indeed strange what we let in and what we push away. I did not weep today over the loss of children's lives from a drunk driver, perhaps indirectly I did though. I also didn't perform burial rites for a starling that got in my house and my cat mauled.

I'm going to attempt to wrap this up on a high note. long pause here with another cup of coffee. Nothing original or worthy has come to mind. So I will instead leave this song as music tends to better help us all navigate the seas of life. "love the life you live, live the life you love" as well as picture of what "Logan" will flower into. I didn't give him a name until after the attack in an attempt to not become attached.. I was hoping like wolverine he would regenerate and kick ass. Fare thee well Logan

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