Love & marriage 180 - To get a divorce or stay married for the sake of the children?

This is a very serious question, divorce or stays married for the sake of the children?

This is definitely no easy subject to explore. Parents should at all costs put in as much effort as possible to make their marriages work for the sake of their children. A parent's motivation should never be to ensure their own happiness but to make sure what will be in the best interest of their children.

The problem is that most couples who divorce don't seek marital therapy before doing so.

They let things go so bad before trying to do anything about it and then the only solution seems divorce. Prevention is better than cure, you have to work on your marriage and relationship every day to ensure your own happiness and the happiness of your children.

You should have done everything possible to make sure your marriage can't be saved before you consider divorce. It is a myth that after divorce if the parent is happy the child will be happy too. This will not be the case and often times the new problems that divorce brings will be worst than when you decided to stay married. See my post of yesterday about the devastating effects of divorce on children.
https://steemit.com/christian-trail/@hope777/love-and-marriage-179-divorce-the-effects-on-your-children

There is almost no problem in the modern day that we live in, that cannot be solved.

Even if it is a worse as addiction or infidelity your marriage can still be saved. Your spouse can become sober, you can forgive infidelity if your spouse is willing to try again. You will maybe have to practice some tough love and some interventions to get your spouse to that point but where there is a will, there is a way. If you are a Christian and you put your faith in God, the He will make a way.

Cathy Meyer in her blog reasons to stay together for the Children's sake, give the following 10 reasons to avoid divorce.

The facts are that children benefit enormously when raised by loving parents in a healthy marriage.

Below are a few of the benefits for children of an intact family.

1. Less likely to divorce as adults,
2. Have fewer emotional problems,
3. Are less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol,
4. Are more likely to attend college than children from divorced parents,
5. Are less likely to engage in delinquent behavior as teens,
6. Make smarter relationship choices and are less likely to become victims of domestic abuse,
7. Have better relationships with both parents,
8. Are less likely to become sexually active as young teens,
9. Are less likely to experience teen pregnancy,
10. Experience a more financially secure lifestyle for children.

Then there are reasons to not stay together which will not be to the benefit of your children.

If the following is happening in your marriage it would not be in the best interest of the children to stay together.

1. Any form of abuse, emotional, physical or sexual abuse.
2. Serial infidelity.
3. A spouse involved in criminal activity.

If you are reading this today and there is some unhappiness or unresolved problems in your marriage, please seek professional help immediately. Maybe you are reading this and are thinking this lady doesn't know what it means to stay in a difficult marriage. Let me ensure you I do, my late hubby was an alcoholic and he was sober at times, which was less than the times that he was not sober. But him and I made it worked for our own sakes and the sakes of our children. Where there is love a lot of difficulty and problems can be overcome or be endured. He was a good husband and a wonderful father in spite of his problem and my children just have good memories of their dad.

If you handle problems and conflict in the right way, both parents committed to putting the children first, then you can do it in a way that would not bring unhappiness and harm to your children.

Thank you for reading, blessings!

@hope with my daughter, Lizelle and son, Duan.