In pursuit of ...
This is the conclusion of a series of three posts trying to make the point that we should be intentional in how we live. Whatever your life ends up being, it should be the result of your choices and the actions you took. It should not be the result of your inaction. Choose your life and start living it. In the process of these posts, I am sharing with you two major insights I gained in many years of pastoral ministry. The first post is an introduction. @nexit called it a teaser.
The next post speaks about the one thing you need to do.
The conversation in the comments to these posts is interesting and I encourage you to read that too.
Loneliness
Many of the mistakes we make in this life come from loneliness. I have worked with drug addicts in rehab. Addiction is a terrible thing and it drives people relentlessly towards destruction. However, I think the pain of loneliness can be a stronger driving force in people.
So often people make mistakes they know to be mistakes, just to avoid loneliness. They go to places they themselves stated clearly they needed to avoid. They enter into or stay in relationships they know to be toxic for them. Most people who start illicit affairs, destroying their marriages explain their actions as a response to loneliness.
The Bible gives insight in God's response to His creation. As He progressed through different aspects He would look at it and say, 'It is good.' When He created man His response was, 'It is very good. And then He looked at something in His creation and pronounced it 'not good.'
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. ..."
Gen 2:18a NIV
You were not made to be lonely and the pursuit of companionship will fill your days and choices and thoughts, whether you acknowledge this pursuit or not. It is possible to be alone and not lonely but that is a conversation for another day. Today I want to emphasize how deeply ingrained your need for connection is.
You need to know and to be known.
You need to be heard and to hear.
You need to see and to be seen.
You need to touch and to be touched.
It is important to intentionally seek connection and to seek that connection with people who will be good for you. So often we find connection by accident in moments of desperation and loneliness. And often these random connections mess up our lives.
When we find true connection it is the most precious of gifts that will enhance the quality of every day to follow. Your relationships are the substance of your life. Nothing else matters more!
Saul who became Paul and wrote most of the New Testament of the Bible acknowledges the importance of this pursuit. If relationships are so central to the fabric of our lives, we should want the best relationships possible. And if we want the best, we should pursue this quality connection with a single-minded focus, doing whatever it takes to attain it. It is that for which you were created. And you were primarily created for real connection with the One who created you.
Paul says it like this:
Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ.
Php 3:8 NLT
So many people waste their lives with superficial relationships. So many make bad or desperate choices in fear of loneliness. Others neglect or mess up valuable relationships in pursuit of lesser goals.
Don't be like that! Pursue the highest, most intimate, most real relationships every day of your life. It is the best thing you can do with every one of your days.
And from personal experience, I want to recommend that you consider a real relationship with the one who pursued you by stepping down from His throne to become one of us. Loving Him and being loved by Him is the best thing I have ever done. Paul is right. Everything else is worthless by comparison.
I conclude with words I have most probably used more often than any others over the years.
Thank you for reading! My next post will include a contest for those who followed this series. Keep an eye out. I will try my best to make it worth your while.
You're definitely making me think deep today my friend. Another new friend asked me recently if I was married and it had me explaining that I was single by choice. Do I consider myself lonely; not really. I'm lucky to have a very close knit family and a few good friends that I share a deep bond with but I haven't yet come across someone who is able to give as much as they receive without losing the important parts that attracted me in the first place. It's a slippery slope. Peace.
Sometimes we have to learn to be alone ... live with our loneliness, know and accept ourselves ... so we can go out again and trust....
Since I found that you want to read non-christian input for this:
That reminds me of how Islam encourages (interpersonal) relationships, many of the teachings (I think they're the third of the whole religion) are there to make the community more loving, forgiving to each other, encouraging the good behaviors and discouraging the bad one.
Sadly these days, most of Muslims are suffering from not or partly understanding these teachings, since it's a integrated (to avoid calling it perfect) religion... Doing some of it's teachings and ignoring others will turn either make the person/community too weak to defend themselves... Or turn them into killing machines... and you can see examples from both.
Now, since you talked about the relationship with the christ, we have "the relationship with Allah/God" which gives similar (if not better, depending on where you are in the believing spectrum) cure to loneliness...
So, yeah... I can relate. Sadly, it's hard to let someone who does bad things understand the "fun" in it.
I'll comment on the line I liked from here in your contest post.
love reading your blogs.
kryptonia ID valedjie123
" I will try my best to make it worth your while." You surely succeed it every time. I am looking forward to reading more from you.
I very much agree with: relationships are, basically, everything when it comes to happiness.
Greetings from @Kryptonia! @nexit
españolLoneliness is the deepest fact of the human condition. Man is the only being that knows he is alone. "- Octavio Paz
There is no good or bad thing about loneliness. It's all about how you decide to use this time alone.
In fact, spending enough time in solitude can benefit more than you imagine, as long as you decide to take advantage of these moments in favor of your happiness.
The vast majority of people, at some time in their lives, have been afraid of being alone. These people are the ones who are most affected by being alone, they can even go so far as to commit suicide, because if one sees in this state a person has to help him not to feel haci. "Have a good day everyone and my blessings, I leave you with this press". @kryptonia
Loneliness isn't good at all, youre right when you said a lot of people go into wrong doing they wouldn't have, if they weren't lonely.
In this part of the world the most silent sin a boy can commit without anyone knowing is masturbation, it drains the energy and the destiny.
Counselors have found out that a lot of kids who have friends to commune with don't exhibit this things, while it's rampant among the "lone rangers".
Thanks for making the most important statements of all.
"Relationship with Christ"
Brother is right, Solitude is not good and the Bible proves it ... but how is it done when you are not alone and you feel alone? ... despite being a believer ...
If you can, you puts me in his prayers. Thank you.
This post has received a 1.09 % upvote from @booster thanks to: @reonlouw.
@reonlouw you really teached us a very good lesson for life.. i will look forward to read more blogs from you.