Being The Other Guy:Comedyopenmic 44 second entry

in #comedyopenmic5 years ago

In life, there's three distinct type of guys; there are the guys with the girls, the guys without the girls and then there's the other guys.

The guy with the girls has a pretty straight forward way with the ladies. He gets them. The way and manner these sort of guys go about it is something that eludes me. There's actually no template or method to their madness; all I know is they go out, they meet girls and then get some. Its amazing. I know this one guy, he's as ugly as they come, short and dumb as a door knob. Yet for some mysterious reason, he keeps switching them and these aren't prostitutes either, these are the girls I dream of; I've seen him work, he says the most basic shit to them, a lot of tines its cringe worthy. Shit I'd never say. Oh and he's not rich either. There's something wrong with the universe.

The next set of guys are those that don't ever get the ladies. Their life is pretty straight forward, they don't meet girls, girls don't like them and they're fine with this dispensation. These guys don't bother nor try. Their existence is plainly defined, so need no special treatment.

Then there's the other guys. The other guys are something of a conundrum, floundering between the precipice of copulation and many nights of self service; they wallow in wanton attempts and failures to "get it". The worst thing to be or do is to be the one sitting on the fence, you're neither here nor there. I'm one of them.

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Being the other guy is nothing to take lightly, the other guys are known to be the saddest of the lot and often suffer testicular trauma from unhealthy regularity of masturbation. One common phrase pointed at the guy is "I don't believe you're single". This phrase has led a lot of them to their early graves, the other guy seamlessly combines traits of both sides of the fence into one blob of sadness.
A common trait of the other guy is his penchant for trying to try. You see, he use to try, then trying became too stressful because of years of failure and watching the guys with the girls get all the girls. So at this point, one of my greatest challenges is getting myself in the frame of mind to actually give a shit enough to try.
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In life, we're all meant to be who we're meant to be. As circular as the previous statement may sound, it is one of the bedrocks of being the other guy. The other guy works with the curse of always being interested in what he can't have. " I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend", "please stop sending me nudes, I'm married" and other statements are common place in my inbox. Most women I encounter are either too married or out of my league. While the younger ones(millennials) are quite young or stupid(most times both) to spend my time trying to convince.

Conclusion:
Being the other guy has taught me many things; patience, perseverance, pain, sadness but most importantly, it has shown me that I'll indeed have to knock someone up and force her to marry me when the time is right. I'll apply my skills: I'll patiently persevere through the pain and sadness and then strike when my time is right.

I nominate @trumpman and @holybranches to tell us their "other guy" stories because I know they are.

PS: @trumpman has an imaginary girlfriend

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oh my.. this is very funny. interesting post :)))
voted !

Just remember to work on your acting.
"Oh no! Something bad happened...ON ACCIDENT!"

😂

"I mean, I know it wasn't expected but we keeping it right?"

Rule 1: Be attractive

Rule 2: Don't be unattractive

It depends on if you bear the curse of the "other guy"

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