I'm Upset, Angry Rant: Comedyopenmic 40

"What is sexual frustration?"

Well before I answer this question, I'd like to say "Fuck google". Those bastards have the world by its nuts and we don't even know it. I'm sick of them always spying on me and making porn websites and dating sites pop up on my screen. It's extremely annoying and I want it to end.

I've spent the last three hours literally pleading with a random girl I met on Facebook to send me nudes. I don't care how that sounds and quite frankly, why should I? I hear, a problem shared is a problem half solved so I'm sending out this desperate cry for help. Help me get laid.

Those bastards at Goole said "sexual frustration also comes from being in an otherwise, in every other category than sexual, happy relationship–but that ONE category is a big thing for many, so it's a brain (and ball) buster". Well first of all you bastards, this doesn't even make any sense and secondly I'm in a happy relationship with my hand, its just vagina thats been my problem. Sexuak frustration is beyond fancy words and the erections I get every time the wind blows, there's a lot more. Like just yesterday, I sneezed and semen came out instead of snot, my sweat, pea and probably my entire blood are basically semen solutions. Its a tough place to be in .

I'd normally not do this kind of rant but like I said earlier, its a rather critical situation, I can't even wear shorts anymore. With this in mind, I'm calling on anyone interested in my welfare and furtherance of my education by sponsoring my first date with a prostitute(coming of age ceremony).

At the current rate;
Prostitute will cost 30sbd
Very very cheap hotel 10sbd
Alcohol and drugs to sedate her after she sees my penis will cost a further 10sbd

With 40SBD, you can contribute positively to the society. Let us fight sexual frustration together. One person at a time.

I'd also.like to nominate @holybranches and @trumpman two other great individuals battling this menace called sexual frustration.