Comedy Openmic Round 16:Best sex of all time

in #comedyopenmic6 years ago

I have always been a fan of fair intelligent girls but what happened last week I can't still explain. I mean I am still shocked. So this is what happened

Recently, I started working in a catering service and there is a part mainly for training people who want to learn how to bake. After two days of working, there was this girl who has just been giving me this green light. Just imagine, I would just come to work and this lady would just be all friendly with me, trying to hug me and all that. Sometimes she would bring food from her house for me.

This lady was a very tall beautiful woman with an encouraging asset behind. Anytime she leaves my office, her backside was the most prominent part I noticed.
As a matter of fact I started falling for this lady after all this act of care.

So last week Friday she invited me over and I was happy thinking I was going to get laid. When I got there I knocked at her door and guess what? I saw a lady on a lingerie with dangling shiny boobs and what I will like to call a very disorganized face that I had never seen before.

At first I was confused and I had to ask for who I was looking for and she was like its me. For the second time I was amazed. I told myself that I must win anyways, so I told myself that I was going to f**k her not minding how her face was looking(i could cover her face with a pillow) . So I entered the house and she started the whole lovey thing as expected.

I decided to be a gentleman and decided to move slowly by trying to suck her breast. As I raised her boobs I saw a colony of bacterial organism. Jeez!!! I was like what have I gotten myself into? I continued and made sure that I wasn't going to lift those things up. The problem was the fact that I had taken Viagra and it was a point of no return.

I decided to kill the erection by just having the sex as quick as possible. As I was about to attempt to pull her pants and put my dick in there she said "I want you to give me head." I was like after what I saw under that boobs can I withstand this? So I tried to make an attempt but my spirit refused.

I went in and as we started rocking after two minutes of active work,this girl started farting. The painful thing is that the fart was foul smelling. Imagine yourself having sex and what you are perceiving is rotten egg. As if that was not enough, when she finally had orgasm, she pooped on the sheets. I was so frustrated and I couldn't sleep till morning. Immediately it was Dawn, I made sure I had left before she woke up.

Anytime I see her in the office now, I am always confused on what to do because I had already processed love to her. I nominate @topdollar001 and @alexmalone

And that was an experience never to forget.. wood-3190203_1280.jpg
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Oh Dear lord!

What's important is that you were a gentleman and finished before leaving.

With my life at stake?

Sure..i am moving over


This post was shared in the Curation Collective Discord community for curators, and upvoted and resteemed by the @c-squared community account after manual review.

Aha! Thanks @c-squared for the +respond!

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CONGRATULATIONS! I think you can cross that one off the list now.

Hope it's more pleasant next time.

I wish you the same

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