PSA: Public Bathroom Etiquette for men [Comedyopenmic Round 2]

in #comedyopenmic6 years ago (edited)

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Public Bathroom Etiquette for men

Some people need to learn some public bathroom etiquette.

  • To the men with a hole on the side of your dicks: next time use a urinal. Sometimes people have to poop. It makes it very hard to poop when you splash your piss all over the toilet seat.

Now I know what you're going to say.

"Someone was at the urinal." To utilize the urinal next to a urinal in use is gay. We all know this. This is probably why you went in the stall to empty your lizard.

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Being Aware

What you don't realize, is that I know that you are aware of the holes in your penis. You probably don't even hold it cause that would be gay too right? Never let another mans hand touch your junk. Not even your own.

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So you let it flop around like an unmanned garden hose and you get your rank piss all over the seat. By the way you need to drink more water you fucked that stall up pretty good!

I certainly don't want to wipe your nasty piss, so now I am unable to drop the kids off at the pool because someone is pooping in the one stall that is obviously clean.

I know this because everyone guns for the handicap stall first. This gentlemen was not in it. I can clearly see why. Your little lizard either lost control or you are terrible at aiming.

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Pee Tip

In the future, use the urinal because you clearly have a problem pissing in a toilet and actually getting your piss to land inside. I'm pretty sure that 80% of the piss that came out of your tootsie roll did not make it in the toilet. People like you need to stick to urinals. And you know this. Yet you choose not to. People need to shit, mother fucker. Can't poop in public these days. I'd hate to see YOUR toilet.

@bitfiend

This is my entry for the #comedyopenmic contest by @comedyopenmic Round 2

Check out Round 1 winners!

I want to put up a 1 SBD bounty for a version of bathroom etiquette for women. If that's allowed, it's up!

I also won't be upvoting my own post. You do it. I'll upvote someone else's joke instead.

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Now THIS is etiquette:

No, that's the other guy that tried to shit and couldn't cause the toilet seat was wrecked and figured if he's gonna get his ass wet, it'll be clean water.
Feel free to give me $1.81 too

lol go ahead touch yourself @bitfiend, nobody's judging you

👍 & half - when even the way you pissed is being judge by #comedyopenmic judges

It's okay if I touch myself. Judgement not applied. Find out why next week!

why next week, i expect to see your 2nd entry for contest 2 this week!

Oh that's right! I just remembered we're allowed two entries! Stay tuned for tomorrow night then!

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