Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest - Round 22 - Lessons Learned

in #comedyopenmic6 years ago (edited)

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This is my first entry into the #comedyopenmic contest and I will like to appreciate @raj808 for nominating me. Let's get this steem comedy culture cracking.

          Dante is here No Fear

Let me just jump right into this so flash back to my freshman year I was preparing for my examination on ARC 111.


You have to know it is Architectural Graphics and Descriptive Geometry I. Bet a dollar I practiced day and night to perfect the art. Broke the bank to get new drawing equipment, curve sets and set-squares. Locked my toys for the perfect day.

The day arrived I felt like an assassin going for the kill. I dressed to kill, fresh oxford shoe and tie damn I felt like the CEO of a fortune 500 company.

                              ...The Dressing was an over kill

Headset and iPod a better pair than Tango and Cash playing a 1983 pop classic "I am walking on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves. I was in the groovy feeling snapping my fingers and making the Boss baby walk as I made my way to the examination hall.

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I go sited like it was my first day at work so excited for the challenge. Time was moving too slow. A power nap wouldn't be a bad idea.

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Snapped back to reality... the fucking reality about the fact that I forgot my drawing equipment at the dorm.

Good grief!

I dashed faster than a speeding bullet to pick up the toys. My head was banging.Sound echoing like the welcoming ceremony of a Shogun. What the fuck was I thinking? Got to the to room to realize that the keys to my locker was in the exam hall.

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Bloody hell

No time to think fast. I broke the wooden locker like a desperate thief. Quickly I picked up the item then headed back to the exam. I got in 15 minutes into the exam. My heart was pacing. I tried to catch my breath as I was served the questions. Easy as ordering a McDonald burger cause I am lovin' it.

Opened up the weapons of mass destruction looking dangerous like Pandora box, My eyes growing larger and larger.

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No pressure

I picked up the protractor and then it happened. The unexpected. The needle dropped. This ain't about the Dj making the club go boom. I am referring to the pin on the protractor. A protractor without no pin is nothing. I never bothered to check if the equipment was faulty because I trusted the manufacturers. (This was where my trust issues started)

I became cold like those fake vampires from the twilight series. My eyes became thinner. It dawned on me that I purchased the fake. That's common in this side of the world

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I fell on the ground looking for the pin. My palms sweaty and dirty. I felt so hot I thought I was radiating heat. I tried to improvise by using the compass but nah that didn't work.

The entire math set was shit. Everything was bad. It was a rip off that could have been avoided. I thought of heading back to the dorm to pick up the old math set. Time was running out. The dude beside can't think to spare me his cause he was clueless about how to go about it. We kinda shared it for a bit tho. My face was running with sweat dripping on my answering sheet.

My mind radio kicked in playing You ain't working on sunshine ooh ooh in Mike Myers. Time was freaking slow like can this day end already. If I had one wish I won't be asking for so much like Ray J but just wish to skip that day like it never happened.

Mans I was like

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Time was up and I submitted absolute garbage. I was going in like Mohammed Ali but I came out like orange juice beaten to a pulp.

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You must believe me when I say that that day was shit. At least I can get to the dorm and have a good sleep. I got in there just to find out that my room mate has reported to campus security for breaking and entry and theft. I got called in for breaking into my own locker.

Have you ever gotten so furious that you couldn't do anything?

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In summary I got fined for damages and I learned a valuable lesson. Always test the product and don't be over confidence. In the end it was a bad day at the office.


I hope you guys enjoyed this fiction comedy cause I'm about to hop in on a chick flick movie on this day Friday the 13th. Easy A for the win. If you care to ask me how was my day ama be like...

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Until next time.

Dante is here No Fear

I nominate @greenrun and @dorth for comedy openmic challenge

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Hi @dante31, as this came out after the round 22 announcement, it will be entered into round 22, just change your title to show round 22. Thanks for your entry.

Thank you.

Edited

sweat and regret. needle dropping and popping veins... faulty compASS companies.... nice story!

compASS haha... thanks

Glad you liked it

Awwwww that sucks man. Always gotta test the product though. lol

I know right ... I test every product and check expiry date on products I purchase.

shit! what a cool 1st COM entry, well done @dante!

Thanks buddy

Buahahahahahaha.
I can totally picture the whole thing honestly. Uni was a trip! Especially that uni *lips sealed
Thanks for making me laugh, really good comedy

You are very welcome doc. I know right. 🤣

Some one have already start to showcase his inner talent.
I know dante is here and i no fear.
Bravo, you kill it man. You capture every part, without making it difficult to picture the whole, scene. This should not be difficult for a curie curator.
..... Just passing by
🏂🏂

Hey buddy

It's my first entry for comedy openmic. I hope to improve on it.

I appreciate your vote of confidence.

Cheers

Ha ha. Man.... shoddy fake maths gear. That is a harsh one. I rememeber when I was a kid, where I live in the UK, there was loads of fake clothes going round. It was a common thing for me to go to school, walking proud with my new trianers only to have all my friends call them out as fake and then show me the fake label on the back or some other indicator that they weren't the real deal.

BTW's @dante31, you should defo check out the #comedyopenmic discord m8 and drop your post link in their promotion channel. It's a fun community too. Also, to get there pretty decent vote and be considered for winning SBD prizes you need to follow a few rules. Here's a link to the post which will explain everything. I took a look and the only things you have missed doing is resteeming the anouncment post and I think that this post would be better entered in round 22 but it is worth asking in the discord room if it has been seen for round 21.

Hope this helps, great first entry :-)

Nice one boss :)

You are the boss :D

jim carry ! is he alive ? first time i saw his movie after my birth :-| :D

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