The Bus Lunatics I Meet Daily! (Comedy Open Mic 41)

Many of you know by now that my life is a bit fucked up. Whenever i get out of the comfort of my home something crazy will happen. I had wonder many times if it's only me, if someone is pulling pranks on me or if i just have the stupidity magnet. Turns out it's the latter!

Most of the times though i am "lucky in my misfortune". That phrase pretty much summarize my whole life. Anyway this week i had to take 2 buses each day and adding the fact that i need to return the same way, that makes it 4 routes per day, 2 to go and 2 to come back. For some unknown reason i met both of them in my way back. I had the opportunity to "meet" with 2 lunatics because you know, what's better than making new friends, am i right?

Lunatic Number 1: The Flipped Gypsy

I get into the bus listening to my awesome music compilation i had previously downloaded from YouTube and went close to a window because all seats were taken. Next to me i had 3 girls around 19-20 years old that ofc paid no attention to me or anyone else and talked by themselves. 

A couple of minutes later i listen to some voices but because i was next to the window i thought i was noises from outside but 1 minute later, i listened to the same voice yelling. Then i noticed everyone looking at one direction, others were laughing and others looked a bit annoyed. So i was curious and looked too, cause i am a free man and i have the right to look wherever i want!

What i saw was a gypsy woman sitting in a spot.......alone.......while the rest of the bus was packed and everyone kept a distance from her. Right there i say to myself "ok cut the music, this gonna be fun, except if she comes to me :P" The Gypsy woman was just yelling nonsense like "where are you?" "what should i cook?" "what should i wear" (Probably taking to Jesus our lord and savior)

Next thing i know she starts yelling at the 3 girls that were next to me. She yelled "Why you Laugh?" "You Laugh with me?" The girls looked the other way a bit stressed. Then she yells again and stands up from her spot "I said why you laugh, tell me a joke" " Tell me a joke now" " NOWWWW"

At this point the girls started to fear, you could see it in their faces and they kept coming closer and closer to me but i just wanna have some fun so i did nothing! A moment later she comes next to one of the girls and screams " HA-HA-HA", "Tell me a joke" "HA-HA-HA-HA". At that point the girls couldn't move from fear, nobody did anything, some of them like me enjoyed the whole show. One of the girls came so close to me that she squeezed me.

It was like we were a couple. She gave me looks like "help me" but i paid no attention to her. i thought "now that  you need help you are looking for my attention and protection, bitch please!" The only way i would do something was if the gypsy continue touching them but it was just one time and then she left!

Lunatic Number 2: The Crazy Eyes

This one is my favorite. He is an old man who lives in my area so most of us know that he is crazy, but he is harmless. He just likes taking a certain local bus and just talking/teasing/annoying others but everything is through words, he will never touch anyone. The fun thing though is that most of the people don't him and that's makes everything even funnier.

Everyone gets into the bus. Inside the bus it's me, crazy eyes, 2 old men, 1 middle aged man, 2 women in their 30s, 1 old lady and 2 girls around 20 years old. All of us were alone, nobody had a friend or knew anyone in the bus. Immediately i click pause to the music cause i knew i am gonna hear epic lines. Below is the conversation he had with others:

Crazy Eyes: How are you miss?

Woman Number 1:................

Crazy Eyes: Miss can't you hear? i asked how are you?

Woman Number 1:.......................

Crazy Eyes: Ahh i get it you try to find a boyfriend via your phone!

Woman Number 1: Excuse me? What Did you Say To Me?

Crazy Eyes: That with that face you are not gonna find a man

(i laughed, as some others :P Then a man as usual try to act as a white knight)

Middle Aged Man: Hey old guy speak to the lady better

Crazy Eyes: Or what sir? you gonna hit an old man?

Middle Aged Man: One More Word and I'll kick you out of the bus 

Crazy Eyes: Kick me and i sue!

(everyone laughed so the middle aged man felt defeated :P)

Crazy Eyes: Excuse me may i ask a question?

Woman Number 2: Yeah what is it?

Crazy Eyes: Do you have a boyfriend?

Woman Number 2: Yes!

Crazy Eyes: He is cheating on you!

(The old lady tries to defend the woman by saying:)

Old Lady: Would you stop? that's enough!

Crazy Eyes: I don't speak with grannies, go dye your hair grandma (they are of the same age :p)

Old Guys: Stop it already, you are bothering everyone

Crazy Eyes: If both of you answer one question i will stop. is that ok?

Old Guys: Ok go for it

Crazy Eyes: Who did you vote?

Old Guys: Not of your business, what do you care

Crazy Eyes: Ahh you voted "insert the parties" that brought us in that crisis right?

Old Guys: It's not of your business

Crazy Eyes: Ok go fuck yourselves

then he goes to one of the 20 year old girls who btw was very pretty. She knew that he was gonna say something to her and looked each and every single one of us for help but nobody wanted a 1vs1 with Crazy Eyes. 

Crazy Eyes: So..... what are you gonna do on Easter? (it's December :p)

(i cracked up)

Girl: i....i.....don't know

Crazy Eyes: I see I see so do you have a boyfriend?

Girl: No

Crazy Eyes: So......where are we gonna go for vacations?

Girl:I....I don't wanna......

Crazy Eyes: Shhhhhh it's my stop, we gonna organize it next time! 

then he looks again he old guys and say:

Crazy Eyes: Fuckers!

I have one more but it's for another time, the post is already to big

gifs 1 2 3 4 5 6 8
Sort:  

Hi filotasriza3,

Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)

Judges:

If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here

Click To Vote @ComedyOpenMic For Witness And Disrupt The Steem Blockchain With Laughter!
Support COM Banner

Thank you to @matytan for the great banner

Very entertaining. The genius in comedy is taking mundane everyday life and turning into something interesting and funny. Good job.

thanks a lot!

Congratulations! Your post has been selected as a daily Steemit truffle! It is listed on rank 20 of all contributions awarded today. You can find the TOP DAILY TRUFFLE PICKS HERE.

I upvoted your contribution because to my mind your post is at least 2 SBD worth and should receive 343 votes. It's now up to the lovely Steemit community to make this come true.

I am TrufflePig, an Artificial Intelligence Bot that helps minnows and content curators using Machine Learning. If you are curious how I select content, you can find an explanation here!

Have a nice day and sincerely yours,
trufflepig
TrufflePig

LOL Τον δεύτερο τον λάτρεψα :P Όταν πήγαινα σχολή και έπαιρνα λεωφορεία και μετρό όοολοι οι τρελοί καθόντουσαν δίπλα μου (για κάποιο λόγο τους τραβάω)..

Το χειρότερο που μου έχει συμβεί ήταν μια φορά σε μια στάση στην Αθήνα. Ήμουν με τη μαμά μου και μας πλησίασε ένας τρελός που κρατούσε μια σακουλίτσα με κάτι μέσα (δεν ξέρω τι αλλά πόνεσε). Μου λέει η μαμά μου μην κοιτάξεις πίσω και πριν προλάβω να καταλάβω τι μου λέει, ο τύπος τη στρόφαρε δυο φορές και μου την χτύπησε στο κεφάλι. Μετά ξεκαρδίστηκε στο γέλιο και έφυγε..

εσυ τραβας τους τρελους εγω τους ηλιθιους :P μην παμε πουθενα μαζι τα αποτελεσματα θα ειναι καταστροφικα :P

ακραιο αυτο, γτ αλλο να λενε οτι ειναι να πουν αλλο να σε ακουμπανε ποσο μαλλον χτυπανε! εμεις εχουμε στην περιοχη μια τρελη καμια σχεση με τον αλλον π γραψα. την γνωριζουν ολοι ως "Το Ελενη". Γυφτισσα τρελη παει κ ζητιανευει κ αν δεν της δωσεις λεφτα σε βριζει σε βαραει σε φτυνει. Μιλαει και φωναζει στους φανταστικους υπηκοους της γτ φυσικα ειναι και πριγκιπισσα και αν εισαι κ τυχερος/τυχερη μπορει να την δεις να κατουραει ή ακομα χειροτερα..... αμαξια των κατοικων :P

LOL!! Αλήθεια είναι.. Δεν θα τη βγάλουμε καθαρή..

χαχαχαχ Δεν το πιστεύω.. Σε ποια περιοχή είναι όλοι αυτοί?? Στην αυλή των θαυμάτων κυκλοφορείς? :P

δυο λεξεις θα τα πουν ολα

West Side

Hi @filotasriza3!

Your post was upvoted by @steem-ua, new Steem dApp, using UserAuthority for algorithmic post curation!
Your UA account score is currently 4.433 which ranks you at #2113 across all Steem accounts.
Your rank has not changed in the last three days.

In our last Algorithmic Curation Round, consisting of 185 contributions, your post is ranked at #149.

Evaluation of your UA score:
  • Some people are already following you, keep going!
  • The readers like your work!
  • Try to work on user engagement: the more people that interact with you via the comments, the higher your UA score!

Feel free to join our @steem-ua Discord server

kai den evgales selfie mazi tous? 😱😱😱

kratisa ta prosximata :P

I can see why you'd prefer walking. After this -- so would I.

728_400.jpg

gotta stay in your comfort zone man.

btw i dunno why anybody would wanna downvote your post, but who cares. FML!

(i had no idea somebody flagged it :p) So you have my thanks!

As long as the flag doesn't hurt at all then literally nothing changed :P Maybe he is one of the lunatics i was talking about :P

lololololol... crazy eyes sounds like a fun guy ... I would definitely invite him to hang out!

i have seen him 3-4 times in that certain bus. The more i listen to him the more i believe he is the definition of trolling :P

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.35
TRX 0.12
JST 0.040
BTC 70753.86
ETH 3589.34
USDT 1.00
SBD 4.75