Right to Speech (Comedy Open Mic Round 13 Entry #1)

in #comedyopenmic6 years ago (edited)

This is my first entry for the Comedy Open Mic Round 13 and since I run sick and forget about nominating 2 people like I don’t know, everytime?, I would quickly like to nominate @foles09 and @groovati for the next round.




Right to Speech

“Come have a look,” I said to my sister on Wednesday morning. The early morning drizzles were at their annoying best and girl hinged on their continued chaos going on long enough to turn down my offer. Now I think about it, I wish it did.

I have been enjoying this place (IT Start-up) for the past few weeks for a lot of reasons. Chief of which is meeting new people, tricking them into friendship and finally, the fun part: dissing them to shreds.

Everyday.

In the midst of the excitement, I lost myself and invited my sibling.

Had fun as usual on the said day, my clowning best and all, though the curse words kinda doubled down for biological reasons.

Well, it is Thursday, a new day, every other day I hoped, till a fellow intern asked me: “will you say the same thing to your sister?” right after I gave out a sound advice on how easy it would be for her (the intern) to make money since should won’t stop complaining of scarcity of naira notes.

Before noon, even the full time staffs have joined in the bandwagon of using a dude’s sibling as a shield/question to defend them fired shots from my mouth.

Apparently I can’ t make a joke anymore. That’s like telling steem Whales to cease jerking off their 100% votes into alternate accounts. They all want me to talk normal or just shut it. Really? Can Donny the Trumpy do away with grabbing them by the twatty?

Exactly.

Learn my lessons folks. If you don’t have a sibling, thank the stars and galaxies, and if you do? Disown them. Oh wait, you could make it more profitable by selling them. You be overcoming your troubles and still making cool cash in the process.

Siblings are bad news. Cant jerk off when they around. Cant steal meat from the pot when they awake and now, can’t use my mouth the only way I know how except getting down.

God dammit.

Sort:  

You should never steal meat from the pot.

Once meat is in the pot, it should stay there until it's finished cooked.

Fuck, I don't really know what you just said, but I love the thought of making money by selling siblings. Not my real siblings, but I have three step-siblings that I can sell.

Do I have to come to Nigeria to sell them, or is there somewhere closer to Canada I can do this?

Sell them to Nigerians in Canada. They will handle it from there.

Right on. I hope Canadian Nigerians have more money than most of the Steemit Nigerians. I want more than 5 SBD for those hardworking bastards.

Canadian Nigerians are sponsored by Steemit Nigerians. There is no escaping that 5 SBD.

Grrr. Maybe I'll just make them accounts and they can just shitpost ten times a day, use bid bots and upvote each other until I'm a millionaire.

@fromthebeginning can really make do with some parishes.

What's a parish in your land? We don't have them here. I don't think.

Parish = branch.

Oh well... Now you can have your holy "branches".

best to harvest as many organs as possible before the final sibling sale.

It's even predicted to moon before STEEM.

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.35
TRX 0.12
JST 0.040
BTC 70351.33
ETH 3563.43
USDT 1.00
SBD 4.72