To Grandmother’s house. Hold it! (COM 46)

in #comedyopenmic5 years ago

Over the river and through the woods,
To grandmother's house we go;
The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh,
Through (the) white and drifted snow!

Over the river and through the woods,
Oh, how the wind does blow!
It stings the toes and bites the nose,
As over the ground we go.

Over the river and through the woods,
To have a first-rate play;
Oh, hear the bells ring, "Ting-a-ling-ling!"
Hurrah for Thanksgiving Day!

Over the river and through the woods,
Trot fast, my dapple gray!
Spring over the ground,
Like a hunting hound!
For this is Thanksgiving Day.

Over the river and through the woods,
And straight through the barnyard gate.
We seem to go extremely slow
It is so hard to wait!

Over the river and through the woods,
Now Grandmother's cap I spy!
Hurrah for the fun! Is the pudding done?
Hurrah for the pumpkin pie!


Well, it's not Thanksgiving and there is no snow and no pumpkin pie, but we went to visit Grandmother's house for the weekend.

Going down the escalator my wife asked my son if we forgot anything. He started to look a little worried and then he got into the train. There was no time for us to go back home anyway.

He started looking out the window towards the bullet train and thinking.

Then it hit him. He left his Teddy Bear at home. Maybe this seems like a little thing to you but this is not a good sign. Half of the time he still thinks his Teddy Bear is real. Any way his Teddy Bear is the only companion when things got tough between him and his older brother. Staring out the train window he is wishing for two things. First, that he would have remembered to bring his Teddy Bear and second that he would be riding the bullet train instead of the local train. The train we were on was a four car train with only one working bathroom. The KTX train was a bullet train with modern facilities and he knew it.

Grandfather's craft is painting calligraphy and memorizing Confucius teachings.

The environment is very different from our American relatives. But my kids have a wild sense of humor especially when the visit their Korean grandparents. The mood there is always pretty strict so they seem even move set on making jokes just to see how far they can push their grandpa. One of their grandfather's favorite sayings from Confucius is
한번 참으면 오래도록 즐겁다.
It literally means, "If you hold it one time you will be forever glad."

Lunar New Year Dinner actually begins in the morning.

We wake up early and bow down to the grandparents to wish them a "happy new year." After that we go to the grandpa's older brother's house where things get even more serious. There they set up the food to dedicate to their deceased ancestors. They offer food and incense and bow down several times. Every year people say, "It's a good thing we have this tradition or we would never meet together." Then they argue about the placement of the food and the side dishes on the table. One brother says his Dad liked the strawberries on the left side. The other brother said that they ancestors always ate the strawberries from the right side. They his son comes out with this book with yellow papers and shows the proper setting of the strawberries. Meanwhile while the men are fighting about whether the chicken head should be placed the table or away from the table all the women in the family are in the kitchen preparing dduk gook.

It is said that you really don't get a year older until you eat this rice cake soup. After eating the rice cake soup they say you ate one year. From the looks of some of our relatives they should have stopped eating rice cakes soup decades ago.

Finally if that wasn't enough the whole family gets in the car and drives to the ancestral village burial grounds.

The ancestors are buried right outside the old village. There they offer some dried fish and soju alcohol and an apple for desert. I guess after watching their children bicker over breakfast the ancestors need at least a few shots of soju.

Our relatives there are just buried into the ground. There is no stone or anything to mark the place where they are buried just a hill. My son said he likes it that way because the other tombs with markers scare him. He said the tomb with no markers just looks like a place to play.

I totally agree with him and try to show him the bright side of Korean Holidays. On the way back home we kept reminding ourselves of Confucius' teaching:

한번 참으면 오래도록 즐겁다.

"If you hold it one time you will be forever glad."


My son started laughing so hard we almost had an emergency. He said, "Dad look at this. I didn't know Confucius was a comedian. How did Confucius know there was only one bathroom on this train?"

"If you hold it one time you will be forever glad."

한번 참으면 오래도록 즐겁다.

@mineopoly

Sort:  

Hi mineopoly,

Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)

Judges:

If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here

Click To Vote @ComedyOpenMic For Witness And Disrupt The Steem Blockchain With Laughter!
Support COM Banner

Thank you to @matytan for the great banner

Hey @mineopoly,
In an effort to try to give people more transparency and feedback on what our judges think of their posts, we thought we'd run an experiment and give people their score from teh judges.

Your post achieved a score of 3.5/5.

Thanks for the lovely entry to our contest. Now some posts do really well, others not so well, and some could use some improvement. We hope the above feedback is helpful in making you a star.

  • Comedy Open Mic Team

Thanks for sharing the joy with us. Few things I would like to reply.

  1. The poetic beginning "through the wood" suddenly linger the songs of country home. Try to stuff those word into that song, it's marvelous.
  2. Teddy is fine, they're once an imaginary friend of every little kid I believe. But Ted literally brings nightmare to all the parents around the world 😂
  3. 一忍常樂 One hold forever glad did hold some valuable ancient teaching. Do you know why Confucius is named Confucius? Because the teaching is kinda confusing. One thing I learned from the old wisdom is, interpret the teaching with your surrounding. Your son is right about only one bathroom. It's applicable everywhere. There was an incident at the open sea and a lady had to go toilet, but the fishing boat has no bathroom. The guy handed over a duster to her, saying that is the cure by sweeping it across the nose. You wanna guess what happen? A sneeze and following with a pot of pee. Here comes another confusing and contradicting ancient teaching - 忍無可忍,無需再忍。When you can't hold it anymore, might as well release it.

That is beautiful in the rarest sense of the word @davidke20

忍無可忍,無需再忍。

More confusing teaching for relief of the inner self

It is confusing isn't it😂

Posted using Partiko Android

Thanks for using eSteem!
Your post has been voted as a part of eSteem encouragement program. Keep up the good work! Install Android, iOS Mobile app or Windows, Mac, Linux Surfer app, if you haven't already!
Learn more: https://esteem.app
Join our discord: https://discord.gg/8eHupPq

Howdy sir mineopoly! what an interesting glimpse into the Korean culture! I love this post, great job sir!

"Lunar New Year Dinner actually begins in the morning"

it's why i think it's the worst holiday in korean history lol

We have never gotten used to it. Every year we have a picture with all the cousins and they always look groggy and resentful... like Slappy squirrels.

Yea i can imagine horrors when i look at that table with all the food. It was probably meant to be a happy family day but somewhere along the line it became more like work @_@

:) Family Feud material. There is lot more than this^^

yes probably. my family doesn't do those traditional things anymore. but still quite painful. i got through pretty well tho.

Good deal. If something is traditional in America we say it is as American as Apple Pie... the I guess my wife's family is as Korean as Kimchee.

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.26
TRX 0.11
JST 0.033
BTC 64999.89
ETH 3101.81
USDT 1.00
SBD 3.87