My God, this book is fantastic.

Occasionally, in your life, you will come across exactly what you needed without consciously recognizing it well enough beforehand to have had the wherewithal to search for it in the first place.

For many young men in high school,
it's vagina.

For many men in their 60's, around the turn of the millennium,
it was Viagra.

Last year (for me) it was Steemit, and re-discovering my love for writing.

This year, it was comedyopenmic on Steemit and discovering @themadgoat's blog (which I read, in its entirety, over an entire weekend -- it is SO clever and funny!)

I also read this book:

Mixing comedy with the material in this book will be a fun challenge...

PAGE 211

"Consider the person who insists that everything is right in her life. She avoids conflict, and smiles, and does what she is asked to do."

In the pornography industry, there are some scenes where particularly talented future Oscar nominees are asked to go "airtight."

Three men are required for scenes like these, and because this is a family friendly blog, I'll skip the fucking details... _(literally)

Whether it was 'airtight' porn scenes that JP was referring to, or something else entirely, we may never know.

But in a moment, you will all know this:

PRISON LINGO!

YAY!!! 😀

Hanging out, on occasion, with CEO's, Geniuses, and Ex-Cons (not mutually exclusive terms, by the way) has its privileges!

"BOGUE"

This prison term (circa 2016) is another word for 'wack,' aka meaning something "not good," for all my suburbian white Steemians who stopped listening to Ice Cube, NWA, and Eazy-E (RIP) 20 years ago after Eminem took over the rap scene like Christopher Columbus anchoring in what he discovered wasn't India.

"Jump Street" and/or "Off Rip"

The beginning; from the start.

Here are some examples you might hear before getting poked in the pokey:

"Man, my public defender was bogue off rip!"

"Lemme tell you somethin' homey, that judge had it in for you from jump street."

Page 212

"If you say yes when no needs to be said, however, you transform yourself into someone who can only say yes, even when it is very clearly time to say no."

Ok.
He's still on the subject of 'airtight.'
Moving on...

Page 270

"There is a story for children,
There's No Such Thing as a Dragon,
by Jack Kent, that I really like."

Now, those careful readers, who pay attention to detail, will not make the error of confusing that story with:
There IS Such Thing as a Dragon, a KOMODO Dragon, That Will Bite You, Infect You With Botulism, & Follow You Around the Galapagos for 3 Days Until Finally You Collapse From Feverish Exhaustion and it Prances to Your Head and Eats Your Face.

I'll bet Jordan Peterson likes that book too.

PAGE 313

"Furthermore, the most valid personality trait predictors of long-term success in Western countries are intelligence (as measured with cognitive ability or IQ tests) and conscientiousness (a trait characterized by industriousness and orderliness)."

No mention of any such benefit for those born with the innate, natural talent for going 'airtight.'

For Comedy Open Mic 🎤 Round #17
I nominate @berniesanders to finally write that love letter to @haejin, and I nominate @richq11, who is such a brilliant storyteller that I'll bet he'll have us all ROTFL 😂!

Thank you for reading, and if you were offended by this post, I wasn't kidding about what was written above:

Komodo Dragons are real,
and they WILL eat your face.
🙂

@scan0017 😘