HIGH SCHOOL REUNION - Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest - Round 22

in #comedyopenmic6 years ago (edited)

Life is beautiful!

Several years into the job market after graduating college, I naively assumed I had finally acquired adequate credibility to don the “been there, done that” badge of honor.

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From the extremely supportive boss who suggested valuable advice such as batting eyelashes to gain co-operation from a ferociously reluctant but competent technician to the pragmatic team leader who refused to provide training yet demanded me to train newbies when I barely managed to grasp my way around. Not to forget, the bitchy co-worker who took credit for my Nobel Laureate worthy assignment by sleeping her way up the ladder.

Triple whammy! My life couldn’t have been more picture perfect. The mere fact that I survived internship without murdering anyone revealed a lot about my strength of character and personality traits. So much so that I ought to be awarded the coveted “Best Slave Staff of the Year” title.

After jumping through hoops and beating impossible odds to secure the corner office, along came one the biggest highlight of my life. The dreaded high school reunion was as we all know spelled as inevitable. In the attempt to impress fellow ex-classmates, I created a to-do list for the reunion. You heard me right. Being organized has recently become my middle name.

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To-do List:

  1. Elie “Starve For a Year” dress – checked
  2. Louis “Vuiery Expensive” handbag – checked
  3. Jimmy “Committed to a Lifetime of Debt” heels – checked

Naturally, time seem to pass by quickly the more we want to hang onto it and vice versa when we are having a bad hair day. The inevitable night too had arrived in a flash. The organizer of the reunion could not have picked a better location. It was held at the Mandarin “Over the Top” hotel. An ideal place for selfie and social media addicts.

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The length at which people are willing to undertake to flaunt their wealth and influence amazes me. Mental calculation informed me the price of one dinner was probably equivalent to my entire weeks’ worth of food budget. If put into good use, it could have fed many homeless people.

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No doubt everything went well thanks to painstaking preparation. I had not spilled drinks on myself or anyone. The mean girls left me out of their snide remarks. So far, I had yet to offend anyone. Perfunctory skills acquired throughout the years had not been put to waste after all.

The night proceeded too flawlessly that it felt surreal. Not surprisingly, just as I was about to let my guards down, a beautiful woman walked over and tapped on my left shoulder. She smiled at me as I turned over.

Anonymous Woman: “You haven’t changed much. Do you remember me?”

Me: “Errr… Do we know each other?”

Anonymous Woman: “I’ll add you on Facebook.”

After an exhausting endeavor draining the last possible drop of brain juice to gain access into my memory files, it was way easier giving up and search for cues from Facebook instead. OMG! Of course I could never have recognized the mysterious woman in a million years. She used to be a “he.” My ex-classmate had undergone a major transgender surgery. That was the most bizarre joke someone pulled on me.

Developers should take such possibility into consideration when installing facial recognition software for security. Women aren’t the only gender keen on cosmetic enhancement. Men are narcissistic too!

Thank you for reading!

Regards,
@wittywheat


Note: I'd like to thank and nominate @rentmoney in return for his act of kindness and generosity. Another candidate I'd like to nominate for this contest is @naika.


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this sounds the start of something romantic!

Oh yeah! 😂

Ah yes. They never suspect the tranny inquisition.

😂😂😂


This post was shared in the Curation Collective Discord community for curators, and upvoted and resteemed by the @c-squared community account after manual review.

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Nice entry ....I was not expecting the ending.

Thank you! This story was inspired by real life experience. She made me so guilty for not being able to recognize "him."

I wouldn't feel guilty .. he purposely presented his transformation in a way that no-one without prior knowledge would have known.

Top or bottom surgery? Both? Can you hook a fellow up?

Both! She (he) already has a boyfriend. Thank you for asking! 😂

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