How We Listen, Sometimes. Contributed by @Olawalium
Life is all about living and learning. I always say no one knows it all. No man has the monopoly of knowledge. We are all growing and we are going in life. I love to learn and always seek for ways to do that. I am super sensitive, so I pick lessons, even in the most unusual way.
I have picked lessons from plants, little children, babies, adults and even tragedy. I try to feel human, yes, but when I have satisfied my humanity side in tears and worries and pains, I try to see what lesson is there for me to pick. I tried to ask, ”So, what’s in it for me?” It is not always easy but then, life happens, so we have to move on.
Some people take it so hard to take advice. Some won’t even listen or entertain it. Some are so opinionated that you have to see things only from their lenses and yet they ask you, ”Are we on the same page?” To which I always answer, ”How can we be on the same page, when we are not even reading the same book?”
We need to be flexible. We need to develop the habit of listening. We need to let our actions show that we seek to learn and know. Some people take criticism to heart, even if you try to break it to them in the simplest form. They see it as a personal attack, regardless of how you tell them.
I am of the opinion that, no matter what, try to be diplomatic with how you say things, even as you try to drive home your point. How you present a case, sometimes determines how the person you are trying to correct will respond to it. We are all different.
Some see it as a personal attack, so before you even try to structure your words together, they already have an answer waiting for you. They try to always be on the defensive and it would be so hard for people like this to learn or get more out of people.
Most people listen with the intent of giving an answer, not necessarily to know.
Some people will listen to you, running through their mind on how to answer you, and they stop listening to whatever you try to say afterward. Have you ever noticed that? You will get confused and asked, ”Didn’t you listen to what I said to address what you are just stating?"
That is because they have blocked every sense of reasoning since they see everything as an attack and they are only listening to you just to give an answer. That is how most people listen, sometimes. I know this because I have been there before too.
When dealing with others, be gentle, and when others are dealing with you, be subtle...listen. Let go of your desire to be right and win the argument.
Most of the times, we know what we have done wrong, we always seek for ways just to make ourselves feel good. Listen and learn. You can get more out of life with this. How you listen to matters.
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn’t bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.
Still me,
My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.
Olawalium; (Love’s chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor’s order.
You speak so much sense bro
I can so relate to this. I try to leave open ends when I speak so as to allow people give their opinion. I think this helps as well. Some people just don't know when someone is being plain honest with them. No, the whole world isn't against you.
Exactly. The world isn't against you. Cultivating the habit of listening as you have rightly pointed out is key.
Keeping both ends open is a great thing.
Thanks a lot for this.
Your explanation is too good--
I agree with you. Thanks @communitycoin
Thank you so much. I am really glad you love it.
Welcome, sir
This is inspiring, we all need to listen to others whether we think we are right or wrong, as there is a saying which says this that the more you listen, the more you know and the more silent you become, the smarter you become
I love that. The more we listen, the more we know and the more silent we become (forgetting all we think we know to absorb new learning), the smarter we become. Absolutely.
Thanks for this @ebunoluwaoo
To listen to the audio version of this article click on the play image.
Brought to you by @tts. If you find it useful please consider upvoting this reply.
It's not all things we consider important that we do not always want to know more about everything. But is not it important that we have to be a better person?
So on all the things we face in our lives, we can learn to make ourselves better. We often hear the words "take the lesson alone". It is meant that in every event we face either positive or negative, we can respond positively. Positive attitudes can be: acceptance of the truth, patience in accepting disaster, grateful for receiving gifts, not arrogant, not angry, clear thinking, or silent, asking for time to think deeper, or first study the problem, or to ask / consult with which we believe.
Awareness of this also makes us better in understanding others. That others also need time to learn, to change, to update the information and knowledge they already have. This can make us better at conveying our ideas / ideas / thoughts to others. Not in a hurry to want others to follow our opinion. We do not invite others with contempt as we are not happy to be insulted.
So any event if we behave properly will make us a better person. Our life is learning to make us better.
Absolutely. We should learn to make ourselves better because life is about living and learning.
This particularly caught me:
We often feel we have known so much and we often close our minds to other learning. Being open to learning and new things make things easier for us as we journey through life.
Thank you for another amazing comment. Always on point.
We are naturally prone to becoming preocuppied with our own thoughts and feelings. When someone is talking to us, it is all too easy to get distracted and not pay attention closely to what the other person is saying. Rather than listening, we may get distracted by what's going on around us, get caught up in unrelated thoughts or become focused on what we want to say next. This can become particularly damaging to relationships because important pieces of communication can be lost. Using the technique of active listening can reduce misunderstandings, create a safe space for vocalizing feelings and help you and your partner understand each other better.
I always enjoy how you pack so much wisdom in a short comment. This is super awesome!. You have spoken. Love every single word put together there. Active listening is key if we don't want important pieces of our communication to be lost.
Thank you so much.
I deal with these people nearly on an everyday basis (debates usually) and trust me when I say this it just gets tiring after a time because at each moment you give them the benefit of doubt that both of you will come to an agreement but it just doesn't happen.
I totally agree with you. It gets so tiring and also annoying sometimes. You try to leave the line open and yet they don't just want to see it your way. People like that, life has a way of humbling them.
Thank you for sharing this. Really enjoyed this.
Uhm, I can authoritatively say, how we listen often determine the level of things we are going to assimilate and our success too, listening is one of the aspect of communication that we needed to put into consideration if we are to learn a lot of new things, listening with rapt attention is one of the key to once success in life, I believe the more will listen the more we are going to learn and grow, there is this saying that "the amount of books you read is not what matters but the one you could remember", same thing is also applicable to listening, we listen everyday but do we listen with rapt attention? Do we comprehend everything being heard, do we give more attention and focus on what being said?
In the life, there is no one that is embodiment of of knowledge, no one brings any knowledge from heaven, it is when a child born to this earth and relate that he learns everything, for example if a child is born and being drop into the bush where he won't learn anything, we all know that the kid will have nothing to learn unless the kids is made to relate with other people in his community, that is why the kids learn his mother tongue first.
The more will relate with people the more we are going to learn that is why learning never stopped , we learn day by day through meaningful interaction and by paying attention to whether being said.
The heart that refuses to take advice is bound to make mistakes and go astray, I believe in this saying that two heads is better than one. And the desire to always take to advise will surely lead someone to a greater extent in life.
You are so on point. Listening is very important. What we listen and how we listen matters a whole lot.
Thanks a lot for another insightful comment. Means a lot.
We need to learn at least a thing in every blessed day. Learning should never stops until the brain dies and brain dies and once brain stop working, man is dead
The way you table or place your words matters most ,even if you wanna say the most important thing
Never never stops, you are right. Even a 90 year old man has things to learn. Life is an accumulation of experience and the more we live, the more we keep learning.
Thanks brotherly.
Personally I can relate to what you say in your article. You see, I get on the defensive but only with certain people. It's like I am always expecting wrong from them and no matter what they do I am always harsh with them.
Can u make an article for me explaining how beat to deal with my dilemma.