Halloween In Spring: Contest Results and Winners!

Contest Summary

I’ll start with a huge thanks to everyone that participated in the contest. I was blown away by the quality of the submissions as well as the sheer number. In total, we had 17 submissions!

A few of you got that lucky whale vote on your post. That was awesome to see!

Always remember that a low payout on your post is not always indicative of the quality of your work. Steemit has far more content produced than consumed. So don’t be let down if you didn’t get as many votes as you would have liked! This place needs more readers!

I’ll go over each story with a summary and/or my response to your work. Each piece had its unique strengths. So judging the final four was difficult!

The Stories

@dbzfan4awhile with "Tar Demon"

This short story is about a nightmare that feels a little bit too real. The story has a good pace and the

Dah BUMP! Dah BUMP!

brought back memories of horror stories I read as a kid.

Writing-wise, the first line was a proper hook.

I should have died that day

Ok. You got me. I want to read how you almost died, the circumstances, etc. It also tells the reader what the story is going to be about. I knew going in, at least, what I could expect to find.

I enjoyed the descriptions of anxiety about not being able to sleep. As an insomniac, this all had a familiar tone to it.

@anixio’s"Mirrored One"

This short story was about one man’s night out gone horribly wrong. I’ve had my fair share, though they were a lot more sad and pathetic on my part than the kind of supernatural horror we encounter here!

The story thrusts you into the plot. The first sentence had the feel of a club. We go from club to a night of fun (bum-chika-wowow) to rotten smells and The Mirror.

The question posed here is classic: how far will you go to save yourself?

@riverflows’ "Horror Short Fiction"

You hooked me with the first line. And you sold it with the first paragraph. I’m immediately involved in the story. Who is this woman? Why is she naked? Where’s her arm?

The background of the town, their nightmares, set the mood further for the expected terror.

The horses are eating each other

Great line. You successfully built tension while revealing more of the background of the story in a narrative way.

There is an abandoned atmosphere to the town. The men are all broken. As we learn the truth of the woman and Old Jack, the story reaches its climax and the horses come in.

Absolutely loved the Australian Gothic feel of the piece.

I will add that some of the sentences were too long for my taste, bordering run on, and each one had so much to say as they were full of descriptions and large complex words and phrases building lots of imagery and backstory. ;)

Take time for simple prose.

@foxfiction with "Hunger"

Good hook. We know the story is about a disappearance. And about some kind of man. The short story about a little girl and her elderly friend sets the mood at the beginning. Magda not only has the odd relationship with the man but her brother’s ghost as well. Through the girl’s terror from her alcoholic mother to the apparition that appears at night, this is a tortured story. And as such...it doesn’t end well.

I felt sick after reading it. If only she’d run...

My only suggestion to add was that some of the prose was too flowerly for my taste. And some sentences were difficult to read because of their length.

@caleblailmusik with "Black Coffee"

Your paragraph introduces the conflict. The narrator has a call from a friend at three in the morning, now shaking in the chair. The conversation takes a turn for the worst, and the person who we’re led to believe is the ‘crazy’ one turns out to be the most sane person in the room.

Ever had a bad break up? It didn’t go as bad as this!

@theironfelix with "The Rebel Compound"

We’re given the radio bursts of a military of some kind as they attack a compound. We come to find they’re fighting what’s called Zs. Four armed creatures with wolf teeth and hardened skulls. We only see glimpses of the fight, as all the dialog is limited through radio bursts or the occasional exposition. Suffice to say that the nightmarish world of science experiments, central committees and open warfare is one I hope to never see.

But I would be on the side of the central committee, comrade.

@negativer with "Forgotten Memories"

All I can say is that you had me from start to finish with a clear, identifiable narrative voice. I needed to know the truth behind the mystery. And at the end, I said out loud, “Oh fuck youuuuuuuuu.” (in a good way)

Black Mirror, proper like

@calluna with "The Ordained Gardener"

The tale of an Ordained Gardener, given the peculiar and brutal task of cleansing those deemed redundant. She’s got one last job to do, and we get to see how it ends.

“A rose cannot bloom from deadwood”

Plenty of great lines in this. I think this may have been my favorite part.

“In those final moments, she knew. That thing, dead on the floor, that thing was no man. It was the rat she had always believed it to be, spreading filth and sickness, that if left unchecked, would corrupt the Perfect Rosebuse. She had done a wonderful thing. Her death would produce flowers for generations to come”

You had mentioned that I should expect violence. Whewwwwwy!

Face smashing with the butt of a knife and blood spurting like a pot of boiling water!

Since you asked for critique, my only suggestion would be that her recognition of the ‘lesser-human’s’ humanity dragged a bit. It was kind of like, “Yeah, I get it. She’s experiencing cognitive dissonance. Let’s move on.”

That, and a little less description and a little more plot could have brought more to the story. A story is much more interesting when the plan doesn’t work out as intended. Imagine a heist movie where they steal the jewels without any issue, right?

There’s two plot elements at play. First, her own cognitive dissonance as she almost begins to feel for the lesser human. The other is the kind of overall explanation for her job and the political ideology behind it. Then she dies. I’d say, focus on more plot, more problems for the character to tackle, and less explanations for those things. Assume the reader can figure it out as the story reveals itself.

Now, that said, I enjoyed this story from start to finish. The title “Ordained Gardener” is haunting. And the gassing of those deemed ‘lesser’ is, well, all too real.

You gave me a vision into this world and I wanted more.

Also, you had a nice Vietnamese bonus epilogue in the comments.

@afigueroa with "A terrifying revenge: Hut of Hell"

I thought the language was realistic for a kind of ‘campfire tale’. The story relies on a number of classic tropes. “A terrible event” happened in this place, long ago. “A psychotic man”. An “insane asylum”. An “evil spirit”.

The campfire stories take a turn for the worse when one narrator decides to make things all too real.

The story reaches a proper climax and the lone survivor must make a terrible choice.

Despite formatting and spelling error, this was a tight, complete story. It had a clear beginning middle and end. I enjoyed it.

@luingrid.guerra with "Encounter with my enemy from beyond"

A narrator, perhaps @luingrid.guerra themself, describes the fear of being alone.

After deciding to make contact with their spiritual self, one night a shadow arrives.

They seek refuge in the bible and cross while that malevolent spirit continues to taunt them. Their trust and faith in their god saves them from the evil spirit.

It’s a tale of religious horror, one that many would swear by its veracity. It’s up to the reader to decide for themself the truth of the tale.

@henry-gant, Man About Town, with "The Bear-Whale"

The wind bit at Fredian's face. He looked at the gathering clouds.
"Get the blind druid," he said.

Ok. You open with a nice image. Immanent disaster is coming.

Blind druid? I’m in.

The Man About Town sets us up with a Conan-esque scene of riders, a blind druid and worst of all, a Bear-Whale. Though at first sounding absurd, it fits in the tale’s logic. The name Bear-Whale is a Kenning following the Nordic and Anglo tradition of metaphors.

I enjoyed the brutality of the main character. Again, it was all Conan style.

And the ending got me. Like the riders, I didn’t see it coming. The damn cave….it was a simple ruse. And maybe that’s why I didn’t expect it. Neither has my stack, considering the current market.

Well played, sir.

@mervin-gil with "Desolation"

I enjoyed the concept of a prehistoric hunter encountering a supernatural entity. That was a unique setup. We follow this hunter’s chase by a shadow and his demise.

Fast forward in time, there’s a temple of death and ancient gods. Enlil, an unfortunate thief, is delivered as sacrifice to an evil spirit. That spirit, taking the form of a kind of demonic sheep, meets him in the darkness of the temple. Enlil attempts to escape, only for his life essence to be consumed and his body shat out by the demon sheep.

We then arrive to Iraq in the year 2018. A researched makes the terrible decision to enter a forbidden place. She escapes, only to bring a horrible truth back inside of her.

The story functions more as an allegorical horror, the kind that speaks of a truth no one wants to accept. Mainly the eternal nature of death and “desolation”.

Despite the meandering verb tenses, changing sporadically from past tense to present tense, I thoroughly enjoyed the allegory.

@jayna with "The Char Man of the Candahashee Bridge"

@Jayna, reigning Queen of the 50 words, brings us a wicked title at the start. “The Char Man of the Candahashee Bridge”.

The title reminds me of Bierce’s classic “An Occurance at Owl Creek Bridge.”

Each day the woman pushed the carriage across the bridge.

Spoo-ky! The house setting is described like a fairy tale. They live under the hill, under the bridge. The family lives in the woods, but close enough to the ‘road’ and civilization to be realistic. The children, bored to tears, decided to meddle in something way over their heads. It does not end well.

@sneikder with "The Hosmonazis: A distant people, a prophecy, a higher class entity. Part I / II"

A wedding, something to celebrate, forces a family to return home. But this home is somewhere they never wanted to see again. Something terrible happened there, years ago. And now they have to face it.

We discover the history of the town, as it relates to the Second World War, to witchcraft and curses. And all of it comes from the gruesome ritual of the Hosmonazi.

The story follows a lot of classic tropes for urban legends and folktales. Thanks for the submission!

@luciana.malave with Never Again were The Nights The Same

@luciana.malave tells us the story, which she states is true, of experiencing ‘hunches’. A kind of premonition where she knows something terrible is bound to happen. She describes a time where she and her daughter where three men broke into her home and threatened her. She prayed to her god for protection and thankfully she and her daughter were spared.

This is a true tale of horror. I hope you can find peace to rest at night <3

@sofiapaola with "Confession of a Serial Killer

@sofiapaolo presents us with a mock trial recording of a man who has developed necrophilia. By being brought up in a funeral home, he moved to forensic medicine. The infatuation with dead women developed into a desire to murder for love, that is, the love of a woman as an object (corpse).

I feel like this could be a real transcript. I’m left disgusted (in a good way). Thanks for the submission!

@alisabelsilva, "coming in with life between good and evil"

@alisabelsilva tells us the story of an exorcist. I love these kinds of stories, as even though I’m not a Christian nor do I believe in Gods, the concept of demonic possession is fascinating!

The priest comes across a child that he believes is possessed. The baby becomes assaulted by an evil spirit. I really enjoyed the scene where the door is left ajar, with just enough light to barely see inside the room, revealing a horde of dead spirits surrounding the baby.

In a scene similar to the exorcist, the priest jumps from the window after realizing the baby was evil. The priest loses his mind and the baby is left alone, able to grow into a full demon.

The story is a combination of The Exorcist and The Omen. Fun religious horror.

The Pot

Placement	Stated Reward	Contest Post Payout (3.75)	Contest Reminder Post Payout (0.25)	Total Pot
1st	6.66	1	x	7.66
2nd	4	1	x	5
3rd	2	0.7	0.25	2.95
4th	x	1	x	1

And finally, the winners

4th Place- @mervin-gil with "Desolation" due to it’s allegorical depth. $1 SBD!

Had the grammar and spelling been improved, as well as the dating (no humans existed in 2 million B.C.), I would likely have put this higher. Either way, a deep read!

3rd Place- @henry-gant, Man About Town, with "The Bear-Whale" due to the ending. $2.95 SBD!

I felt this had the strongest ending of all the submissions, though it wasn’t entirely horror as much as dark fantasy. 3rd place!

2nd Place- @calluna with "The Ordained Gardener" for the worldbuilding and blood bubbling imagery. $5 SBD

1st Place- @riverflows’ "Horror Short Fiction" for the atmosphere and bleakness. Let the horses in. $7.66 SBD

Honorable Mentions

@foxfiction with "Hunger"
@negativer with "Forgotten Memories"

You two were really close. I enjoyed your stories. Great job.

I’ll be honest, everyone. Judging is hard. I wish I had more STEEM to pass around, as everyone deserved more. But alas, perhaps next time.

Halloween is yet to come this year, right?

Thanks once again to everyone who participated. Much love, and hope to see you around on the darkness of the blockchain.

But wait, if you're still here...

May I end with a little self promotion, if you don’t mind?

I’m planning out a horror series through podcast. You can find it here or follow the @dsound link below.

Give it a listen and tell me what works/doesn’t work! I’m new at the medium.

Till next

<3 Sapiens' Dirge

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► Listen on DSound
► Listen from source (IPFS)