Take a deep breath! You're going to need all of your patience when you hear what's happening. It's Punday Monday 81! Comedy Open Mic Round 44

in #contest5 years ago

Welcome to Punday Monday!

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New To Punday?

Pull up a stool, order a spiked PUNch, and get to know some of the regulars. I'm your PUNtender, @improv.

How To Make a Pun

This contest is open to everyone. Here's a handy dandy guide on how to make a pun: Learn to Pun

Rules for the PUN-test:

  • If you hope to win a prize, your pun must be your original work
  • Puns must be relevant to the topic of the week to win a prize, but they can be very loosely related.

Last Week's Punday Monday:

Here is last week's Punday Monday, and all the puns that were eligible to win this week are in the comments!

Hang on to your PUNderwear. The Winners of This Week's PUNday Monday Are...


(GIF by @littlescribe)

Rookie of the Week:

A week of veteran punsters!

Pocket Choice Awards:

Every Friday, I put up a post to solicit audience favorites! They can vote on their favorites by sending POCKET to whomever they want to win. This week’s post is here:
https://steemit.com/pocket/@improv/pocket-friday-remember-pocket

It was a real race this week, but @deceth pulled into the lead in the end!
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  • POCKET Choice Winner's Circle Season One:

@aloha-creations, @professorbromide, @tcpolymath, @miniature-tiger, @lilygolightly, @chrisroberts, @stinawog, @f3nix, @doctorcrypto, @heroic15397, @littlescribe, @diebitch, @acolucky, @ablaze, and @paul.atreides.

  • POCKET Choice Winners' Circle Season Two:

@ablaze, @coinsandchains, @dollarsandsense, @doctorcrypto, @heroic15397, @littlescribe, @jk6276, @acolucky, @deceth

Grand Prize (which isn’t bigger than the other prizes, just grander):

  • Best Pun

  • Best Pun of the Entire Week

  • Best Overall Pun

DRUMROLL PLEASE.....

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@acolucky!
HA! This one took me a second, but when I got it, I really guffawed.

And What Prizes Do They Win, You Ask?

  • Full Strength, 100% Upvote!

Why, as usual, all the punsters got full strength upvotes on their submissions from @improv. This week they also got votes from @freewritehouse! They will next week, too! Together, these upvotes could total in excess of five whole cents!

  • SBI

Which are little bitty upvotes on all your content forever. See @steembasicincome for details. I’ll send one to all of our qualified entrants this week!
All our entrants were:
@doctorcrypto, @acolucky, @stever82, @deceth
We’ll also be rewarding our POCKET Friday pun-lovers because what’s a pun without an audience?
@paul.atreides and @coinsandchains

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All of our winners get bonus prize SBI for winning!
Congrats, @acolucky and @deceth

  • @tipu Tip + @improv 100% upvote to the post of your choice

Our category winners will each get to choose a post (of their own or someone else's) and I will give that post a fully powered upvote and a @tipu tip!

This Week's Pun Topic Is:

Math (because guess what? 2019 is only divisible by 3 and 673, which seems pretty special to me!)

As in....
Why does Pythagoras prefer his right triangles to be made out of inorganic materials and to be larger, like the nine, twelve, fifteen variety, and not small like the tree, four, five variety?

Because it’s hard to find any square roots on trees.

I'm So Good at Puns

If you've never punned before, it might seem like magic! You can do it, too! Learn how in My Free How-To Guide on Punning!

@comedyopenmic nomination:

Who do I nominate for @comedyopenmic’s comedy challenge? I nominate the winners! This past week’s winners were:

@acolucky and @deceth




Sponsors, related content, prizes, and money

Sponsors!

@improv/ @freewritehouse

I mean, am I a sponsor of my own contest? Yes? I guess? Also, because I’m involved in @freewritehouse and they’ve/we’ve hosted Punday Monday events over on that page, I’d like to suggest that they (we) are also a sponsor! Regardless, check out the @freewritehouse community! Furthermore, they/we’re using their SP to upvote your puns!

@curie!

We are one of Curie’s chosen communities! Prizes have doubled in season 2, thanks to @curie’s sponsorship! Curie curators do tremendous work making sure unrecognized authors of quality content get recognized and rewarded! They do great work sifting through the heaps of posts to find the undiscovered gems.

Related Content:

  • Punday Monday Year One-Day contest results HERE
  • @freewritehouse offers writing and word-smithing contests every week
  • @steembasicincome has a contest round-up (that includes us) where you can find more opportunities to win SBI.
  • @contestkings features our contest and MORE!

Outside referrals that benefit me.

Coinbase:

Cryptocurrency investment wallet Join HERE and we’ll both get $10 of BTC

  • Hot tip, I buy BTC on pro.coinbase.com, then send it to bittrex to trade for Steem and send steem to my wallet here. It’s the most efficient way with the fewest fees I’ve found. If you’ve found better, let me know. - I learned from someone else that buying LTC and sending it to bittrex then trading it for BTC then trading that for STEEM is the least-fees way. Can someone confirm?

Robinhood:

Investment platform buying/selling stocks Join HERE and we’ll both get a share of a stock (probably worth ~$4)

Earn.com:

Small tasks for small rewards. Need a business or .edu email, Join HERE and we’ll both get $1 of BTC

Mannabase:

Sign up for universal basic income distribution funded by cryptocurrency Join HERE

Swift:

Yet another attempt at a UBI Join HERE

Swell:

If you’re interested in more traditional investing, Swell invests in stocks that have a positive social impact according to their standards, and has a referral program whereby they’ll match your first $50 investment. CLICK HERE for company website.

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Hi improv,

Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)

Judges:

If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here

Click To Vote @ComedyOpenMic For Witness And Disrupt The Steem Blockchain With Laughter!
Support COM Banner

Thank you to @matytan for the great banner

If Pythagoris was with us today I bet he would order a 7 and 7, because making it is as EASY AS Pi.

@freewritehouse is rewarding all eligible puns with upvotes! Come join us for more contests on our page!

Give me a bada bing, here...

The rum = theorem

...Pythagoris' theorem.

Ooooooh! Great!

Posted using Partiko Android

@freewritehouse is rewarding all eligible puns with upvotes! Come join us for more contests on our page!

My friend Calum Crane's car broke down the other day... by the time he got to work, his boss was unhappy, he said "CalC you late!"

Posted using Partiko Android

@freewritehouse is rewarding all eligible puns with upvotes! Come join us for more contests on our page!

Thanks @freewritehouse, I appreciate the upvote.

Posted using Partiko Android

I was on a second date so I tried to make a move she told me she was more into division so it was like the first. I told her I was more exponential so it was like the fourth. So she agreed to second and then told me we could go up another power.

Posted using Partiko iOS

@freewritehouse is rewarding all eligible puns with upvotes! Come join us for more contests on our page!

Im sure everyone has heard this one but here it goes...

Why was 6 afraid of 7?? Because 7 8(ate) 9 lol 😂

@freewritehouse is rewarding all eligible puns with upvotes! Come join us for more contests on our page!

I saw this random gal the other day and she was like an angle from heaven.
On a scale from 0-90 degrees.
She was an 82.

So acute!

82? That's barely acute. My lady is a 1.

Posted using Partiko Android

Mine is a 3.14159, she's a real cutie pi.

Perhaps you should add a zero to your lady's degree of beauty, I just don't want any misunderstandings or for you to end up with an ACUTE injury.

You must think I'm pretty obtuse.

Posted using Partiko Android

Not at all, you always seem to consider all ANGLES of the matter at hand. As for me, I'm just ANGLING for victory this week.

@freewritehouse is rewarding all eligible puns with upvotes! Come join us for more contests on our page!

Hi White List Author!

Thanks for being part of our contest community.

Here is a 100% upvote from @contestkings

Official Discord Server: https://discordapp.com/invite/SMSNk7w

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Sweetness!

Posted using Partiko Android

Thank you so much for participating the Partiko Delegation Plan Round 1! We really appreciate your support! As part of the delegation benefits, we just gave you a 3.00% upvote! Together, let’s change the world!

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